One word --> TOLERATE TOLERATE TOLERATE....no matter what, so long as it's not violence, a woman has to tolerate cos she wants to keep her family together. I don't quite understand this point before I was married. After I got married, I realised the truth in this word.
There's this phrase in chinese which means that tolerance breeds harmony. There must be harmony in the house to create a good environment for the kids to grow. It's horried for a child to go home to a quarrelsome home.
I've had students who hates to go home and would rather stay in school to accompany me or even asked me to stay with them so they have an excuse not to go home. Of cos, on the other hand, I've students who love to go home cos they have a loving and warm family waiting for them. One day, I visited a student who had not been attending school frequently. I went to pass him some stuff. I was totally affected by the living conditions this child lives in -- smelly, small, packed with people.
After I left the place, I told Jasper that both of us have to work really hard and save lots so as to give our own children a clean, loving and warm environment. We may not be earning the millions or giving our children all the branded stuff. I won't want my children to loiter outside because they hate to go back to a dirty and smelly home. I want my children to look forward to coming home to us with warmth and food and activities waiting for them.
I guess I'm influenced by my parents. My father has always said that no matter how poor he is, he would give us the best. Now as a parent, I fully understood what he meant. Looking at Allyson everyday now, though she may be naughty at times, we love her too much to even think of depriving her of love and warmth of family life.
I look forward to the day that I can teach her to bake and cook :))
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
All about me
I've reached the stage where I have not much feelings for what I do. Everything to me is a routine. I go to work, I go home, I go to work, I go home. Sometimes, I try to inject some excitement into my life such as going to a new eatery or trying out new recipes for Allyson. I'm not sure if I'm getting older and thus have such feelings. When I see some elderly enjoying their old age, it dawned on me that I should treat myself better. Seriously, I don't even know what things excite me these days. Is it the oozing kind of chocolate cake? I guess when Allyson starts to hold a conversation with me, I should be very excited.
I'm working on having my second child. Not sure when he/she will come. Sometimes, I get sooo sick with work that I just want to stay home and devote all my time to my children and family.
I'm changing a new boss next year. Hopefully things will be better and hopefully I shall be more enthusiastic in my job.
I'm trying to clear up some stuff at my work station, hoping to revamp my area hahaha wonder if I should engage an interior designer for it *hmmm* ;p
I'm going to get some in-out trays to make my area neater and throw away all the stuff that I've been keeping since 2004 hahahah. Feel like getting a new arm chair too hehehe
Guess what? I'm going to pick up driving lessons soon. Jasper has been encouraging me all the while. Hopefully I'm able to pass first time or else I would have wasted my money....
I'm working on having my second child. Not sure when he/she will come. Sometimes, I get sooo sick with work that I just want to stay home and devote all my time to my children and family.
I'm changing a new boss next year. Hopefully things will be better and hopefully I shall be more enthusiastic in my job.
I'm trying to clear up some stuff at my work station, hoping to revamp my area hahaha wonder if I should engage an interior designer for it *hmmm* ;p
I'm going to get some in-out trays to make my area neater and throw away all the stuff that I've been keeping since 2004 hahahah. Feel like getting a new arm chair too hehehe
Guess what? I'm going to pick up driving lessons soon. Jasper has been encouraging me all the while. Hopefully I'm able to pass first time or else I would have wasted my money....
Monday, September 29, 2008
Role of a Woman
A woman takes on many roles. A daughter, a wife, a mother, a teacher, a maid, a counsellor, a chef, an artist, a punching bag, etc etc... I pride myself in being the kind of wife that my hubby can take me out as well as stay home to whip up a sumptuous meal. Am I being too ambitious? Anyway, I like cooking and seeing the smiles on my family members when they eat makes me feel good.
We all need many many good vibes in our life so that we will learn to be more optimistic and look at life in a lighter manner.
When a woman gets married, everything about her family becomes the prority. I'm not sure if it's the case for all women but it is definitely for me. I make sure that I take good care of my hubby, my child, my parents, siblings and in laws. I should not have complaints but well, human beings are greedy. They want the best of everything. I want the best of everything. I do get upset when things do not go well. These days, I learn to control my emotions and be more calm no matter what happens. I kept telling myself that tolerance is the best value that I should have. If one is able to tolerate all things, one would have reached the highest level in life.
When we are able to tolerate all nonsensical matters, we are able to learn to solve problems calmly.
It's important to know our role as a woman. We must learn not to cross the line and cause more trouble. *why do I feel that I'm living in the Qing dynasty* :)
We all need many many good vibes in our life so that we will learn to be more optimistic and look at life in a lighter manner.
When a woman gets married, everything about her family becomes the prority. I'm not sure if it's the case for all women but it is definitely for me. I make sure that I take good care of my hubby, my child, my parents, siblings and in laws. I should not have complaints but well, human beings are greedy. They want the best of everything. I want the best of everything. I do get upset when things do not go well. These days, I learn to control my emotions and be more calm no matter what happens. I kept telling myself that tolerance is the best value that I should have. If one is able to tolerate all things, one would have reached the highest level in life.
When we are able to tolerate all nonsensical matters, we are able to learn to solve problems calmly.
It's important to know our role as a woman. We must learn not to cross the line and cause more trouble. *why do I feel that I'm living in the Qing dynasty* :)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Human Heart - Conscience
Can't imagine how evil some people can be. They like to run you down when you are at your weakest. They like to defame you in front of the top management. Such characters really ought to be tortured and be given a taste of their own medicine. They do not have the conscience to be kind to people. Of cos, there are different types of people around. Maybe some of these people are just born to be mean and born to torture others. It's really terrible. No wonder there's something called the office politics.
I don't like this kind of life. Why must one resort to unscrupulous means to survive in this world. Maybe I'm just naive. Maybe I'm fated to be a tai tai ahhahaha.
Let's hope these people will learn and be kinder to make this world a better place.
I don't like this kind of life. Why must one resort to unscrupulous means to survive in this world. Maybe I'm just naive. Maybe I'm fated to be a tai tai ahhahaha.
Let's hope these people will learn and be kinder to make this world a better place.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Weary
Getting very sick and tired of people around my workplace. Can't imagine that the top management is not concerned about the results at all. All these people only know how to do last minute work. Really can't stand some people who think they are so good with their work. ARGH!!! really need a change of environment next year but soooo worried that if there is an economy downturn then I would be putting myself in some deep trouble by changing job now.
Guess I just have to go through the motion and just follow the crowd.
Guess I just have to go through the motion and just follow the crowd.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Silence Is Golden
A few days back, a friend rang me up and talked to me for a long long time. The first thing she told me was 'Cindy, you must remember that 'Silence is golden'.' Cos sometimes, the trouble starts from the mouth.
She had some arguments with her hubby and was practically going to break down. It was not a one-time off argument. Everything was accumulated. She mentioned that everyday, she had to listen to all the complaints her hubby had about work, about people, about family. Every little thing, he had to complain and if she were to look bored and doesn't seem to show interest in what he said, he would get angry and start berating her. Even to the extent of him complaining about his family members, it's totally alright for him to do so. But if she were to add comments and make remarks, her hubby would be frustrated. All these years, she had been trying to keep everything to herself for fear if word gets through to her hubby, he will scold her harshly for washing dirty linen in public. Thus, she didn't even dare to tell anyone. I guess, this times, she must be really miserable and upset. I'm glad she called me cos I seriously won't wish to go to her funeral wake.
She had to take a supportive role to listen. But whenever she wanted to tell him about things, he would always interrupt and say about other things. In turn, she just remained more and more quiet. She just gave birth and after the birth of her child, she learnt to be more patient but well, we are human beings. Sometimes, patience is like a rubber band. It can be overly stretched and in the end, it may just snap. Just like the human brain. That explains why we hear of sucidal cases every now and then.
Many times, the aruguments came up becos of a slight comment or it's 90% becos of family members. It's not easy being married I guess. We do not just marry the man/woman. We marry the whole family. I guess as a dutiful daughter-in-law and a wife, we just have to take a supportive role and just keep our mouths close most of the time to prevent any disagreements.
It dawned upon me that verbal abuse can sometimes be even worse than physical abuse. The emotional part of a human being may just overcome everything. Imagine, if this verbal abuse comes at the same time as stress faced at work then I think I may just have to visit my friend at the funeral wake.
I tried telling her to have a good talk with her hubby. She lamented that she tried but many times, her hubby would just brush it off like a joke or just smile/nod and take it that everything is ok. They nearly wanted to divorce that very day but upon thinking of her new-born child, she took a step back and told herself to just tolerate.
After all, the hubby was not too bad. She sat and thought of all the good times they had and from that day onwards, she psychoed herself to always remember the phrase 'silence is golden'. Just talked to her today, she sounded better. Over the last two days, she just learnt to talk lesser. She told herself to be calmer and to focus on other things.
She still maintained - lesser talk, lesser problems.
She had some arguments with her hubby and was practically going to break down. It was not a one-time off argument. Everything was accumulated. She mentioned that everyday, she had to listen to all the complaints her hubby had about work, about people, about family. Every little thing, he had to complain and if she were to look bored and doesn't seem to show interest in what he said, he would get angry and start berating her. Even to the extent of him complaining about his family members, it's totally alright for him to do so. But if she were to add comments and make remarks, her hubby would be frustrated. All these years, she had been trying to keep everything to herself for fear if word gets through to her hubby, he will scold her harshly for washing dirty linen in public. Thus, she didn't even dare to tell anyone. I guess, this times, she must be really miserable and upset. I'm glad she called me cos I seriously won't wish to go to her funeral wake.
She had to take a supportive role to listen. But whenever she wanted to tell him about things, he would always interrupt and say about other things. In turn, she just remained more and more quiet. She just gave birth and after the birth of her child, she learnt to be more patient but well, we are human beings. Sometimes, patience is like a rubber band. It can be overly stretched and in the end, it may just snap. Just like the human brain. That explains why we hear of sucidal cases every now and then.
Many times, the aruguments came up becos of a slight comment or it's 90% becos of family members. It's not easy being married I guess. We do not just marry the man/woman. We marry the whole family. I guess as a dutiful daughter-in-law and a wife, we just have to take a supportive role and just keep our mouths close most of the time to prevent any disagreements.
It dawned upon me that verbal abuse can sometimes be even worse than physical abuse. The emotional part of a human being may just overcome everything. Imagine, if this verbal abuse comes at the same time as stress faced at work then I think I may just have to visit my friend at the funeral wake.
I tried telling her to have a good talk with her hubby. She lamented that she tried but many times, her hubby would just brush it off like a joke or just smile/nod and take it that everything is ok. They nearly wanted to divorce that very day but upon thinking of her new-born child, she took a step back and told herself to just tolerate.
After all, the hubby was not too bad. She sat and thought of all the good times they had and from that day onwards, she psychoed herself to always remember the phrase 'silence is golden'. Just talked to her today, she sounded better. Over the last two days, she just learnt to talk lesser. She told herself to be calmer and to focus on other things.
She still maintained - lesser talk, lesser problems.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Family / Kinship
Sometimes, I wonder what exactly does the word family mean? To some people, family probably only means to share the good times and despise the bad times. I'm not sure if everyone else feels the same.
I was brought up in a family where my brother and I were taught to protect and take care of each other. Just last week, my mother told me that I've only got one brother and if they were to pass on, we should take good care of each other and look out for each other. My brother and I are quite close. Whenever anything happens, we keep each other in the loop. Just two weeks ago when I was warded, my brother visited me twice. Once on his own and another time with my sis-in-law and niece. Whenever anything happens in the family, be it monetary or just support, we really take care of each other. When I had bleeding while expecting Allyson, I was soo upset. While waiting for Jasper to drive the car up to the porch, I called my brother and after that, he called a few times to make sure I was alright.
From young, my parents, my brother and I never quarrelled over money. To my parents, as long as we have enough to spend and lead a simple life, money should not be a big issue and the cause of quarrels in the family. I believe it's not the same for other parents. Some parents tend to see money in a very very big way. When their children are late in transferring a monthly allowance, they haunt their children like some loansharks. They can't even be bothered to ask politely or check if their children are sufficient themselves. What's most upsetting is if these parents are working themselves, then it dawned on us why they are sooooo uptight over money not being transferred on time when they have a steady stream of income coming in every month. It's ok for outsiders not to understand what their children are going through but these are parents!! If these parents can't even understand their own children's difficulties, then what does the word FAMILY mean at all??? Is it worth it to fall out with their own children just becos of money?!?? Isn't there any other things that are worth considering besides MONEY MONEY all the time!??!
It really breaks one's heart sometimes to hear such stories. Don't these parents ever consider that their children have their own families to feed. Given the rising costs in Singapore these days and the salary not being too high to meet these rising costs, can't these parents be more understanding?? I think these parents are better off being LOANSHARKS then being parents. If they are soooooo hard up for money, then they should not have gotten married at all and just go earn whatever money they want till the day they are being laid in the coffin!!! *ANGER*
I realised that my parents are very understanding. They have never expected us to feed them or transfer money to them. We give a monthly allowance every month to my mother and becos my dad is working, we only give him extras when we get bonus or during his birthdays. Of cos, mum gets part of our bonus and angpows as well :)) Whenever we need their help to look after Allyson, they agree wholeheartedly and in turn ask if she needs to eat anything so they can go to the market and buy them fresh. I felt very very touched. My parents don't talk much but when it comes to a time when we need their help, they try their very best. My mum kept telling me that one of her regrets is not able to look after Allyson on her own. My mother is the panicky sort so it's not wise to leave her with a child who can't articulate what she wants till much later. Moreover, she doesn't have the experience to look after young children. She doesn't mind to look after when Allyson turns 3-4 years old and is able to be quite independent.
Given the rising costs, I'm looking at ways and means to cut cost and save more money. I intend to take up one or two tuition assignments and add some extra money to our household income.
Wish me luck!!! :))
I was brought up in a family where my brother and I were taught to protect and take care of each other. Just last week, my mother told me that I've only got one brother and if they were to pass on, we should take good care of each other and look out for each other. My brother and I are quite close. Whenever anything happens, we keep each other in the loop. Just two weeks ago when I was warded, my brother visited me twice. Once on his own and another time with my sis-in-law and niece. Whenever anything happens in the family, be it monetary or just support, we really take care of each other. When I had bleeding while expecting Allyson, I was soo upset. While waiting for Jasper to drive the car up to the porch, I called my brother and after that, he called a few times to make sure I was alright.
From young, my parents, my brother and I never quarrelled over money. To my parents, as long as we have enough to spend and lead a simple life, money should not be a big issue and the cause of quarrels in the family. I believe it's not the same for other parents. Some parents tend to see money in a very very big way. When their children are late in transferring a monthly allowance, they haunt their children like some loansharks. They can't even be bothered to ask politely or check if their children are sufficient themselves. What's most upsetting is if these parents are working themselves, then it dawned on us why they are sooooo uptight over money not being transferred on time when they have a steady stream of income coming in every month. It's ok for outsiders not to understand what their children are going through but these are parents!! If these parents can't even understand their own children's difficulties, then what does the word FAMILY mean at all??? Is it worth it to fall out with their own children just becos of money?!?? Isn't there any other things that are worth considering besides MONEY MONEY all the time!??!
It really breaks one's heart sometimes to hear such stories. Don't these parents ever consider that their children have their own families to feed. Given the rising costs in Singapore these days and the salary not being too high to meet these rising costs, can't these parents be more understanding?? I think these parents are better off being LOANSHARKS then being parents. If they are soooooo hard up for money, then they should not have gotten married at all and just go earn whatever money they want till the day they are being laid in the coffin!!! *ANGER*
I realised that my parents are very understanding. They have never expected us to feed them or transfer money to them. We give a monthly allowance every month to my mother and becos my dad is working, we only give him extras when we get bonus or during his birthdays. Of cos, mum gets part of our bonus and angpows as well :)) Whenever we need their help to look after Allyson, they agree wholeheartedly and in turn ask if she needs to eat anything so they can go to the market and buy them fresh. I felt very very touched. My parents don't talk much but when it comes to a time when we need their help, they try their very best. My mum kept telling me that one of her regrets is not able to look after Allyson on her own. My mother is the panicky sort so it's not wise to leave her with a child who can't articulate what she wants till much later. Moreover, she doesn't have the experience to look after young children. She doesn't mind to look after when Allyson turns 3-4 years old and is able to be quite independent.
Given the rising costs, I'm looking at ways and means to cut cost and save more money. I intend to take up one or two tuition assignments and add some extra money to our household income.
Wish me luck!!! :))
Thursday, July 24, 2008
A Surge of Warmth
I just had to post this entry now without delay.
I just came back from NTUC. It's their 'OFFER/DISCOUNT' day. Many things were on offer. Incidentally, some of the things on offer only came out today and the last day of the offer is to be on 31 July.
On the way to getting my loaf of Fairprice bread (though not very soft after the 3rd day but it's still palatable and of cos A LOT cheaper than other brands), an elderly auntie and I just got into a chit chat about bread. She was deciding whether to buy another brand's bread compared to FAirprice bread. I just told her that it's indeed cheaper and more worth it to get Fairprice bread. Given the high costs these days, it's wiser to eat slightly harder bread than buy a high price for softer bread. It's not as if Jasper and I can't chew hard stuff. In the end, I think she reckoned it was cheaper and could save more, she got the Fairprice bread. Let's hope her family members won't blame me for giving my views about the bread hahahah
As I was moving out of the Bread aisle, a very nice middle-aged auntie suddenly pounced on me and told me that the musk melon which I had taken earlier is smaller and she offered to give hers which was much bigger to me. OOOHHHH i'm soooooo touched!!!! It has been a very long time since we felt warmth among strangers. I just felt like hugging her at that time. Of cos, I couldn't bear to take what she has chosen for herself. Thus, I declined smilingly and told her to keep for herself. This melon is also a very good buy. Rather big and it only costs $4.99. No gimmicks and everything looks good on the melon.
I managed to get Allyson's kodomo detergent liquid which they seldom have discount. Thus at this NTUC near my home, whatever stocks they have will be gone by evening. I knew I just had to bend down despite my aching back to get the detergent. Today, I bought a few things with the Fairprice branding. Dehumidifier, bread, tang yuan. I think I saved quite a bit hahhaha
Even the sugarless jam and shampoo which I bought were on offer. Especially the Dove shampoo. It's like nearly $1.50 cheaper. I'm sooooooooooo lucky!! hahhah I managed to grab the LAST bottle on the shelf. Phew!!! Today's grocery shopping trip really tired me out. I shall rest after I post this on my blog and enjoy my tang yuan :))
I just came back from NTUC. It's their 'OFFER/DISCOUNT' day. Many things were on offer. Incidentally, some of the things on offer only came out today and the last day of the offer is to be on 31 July.
On the way to getting my loaf of Fairprice bread (though not very soft after the 3rd day but it's still palatable and of cos A LOT cheaper than other brands), an elderly auntie and I just got into a chit chat about bread. She was deciding whether to buy another brand's bread compared to FAirprice bread. I just told her that it's indeed cheaper and more worth it to get Fairprice bread. Given the high costs these days, it's wiser to eat slightly harder bread than buy a high price for softer bread. It's not as if Jasper and I can't chew hard stuff. In the end, I think she reckoned it was cheaper and could save more, she got the Fairprice bread. Let's hope her family members won't blame me for giving my views about the bread hahahah
As I was moving out of the Bread aisle, a very nice middle-aged auntie suddenly pounced on me and told me that the musk melon which I had taken earlier is smaller and she offered to give hers which was much bigger to me. OOOHHHH i'm soooooo touched!!!! It has been a very long time since we felt warmth among strangers. I just felt like hugging her at that time. Of cos, I couldn't bear to take what she has chosen for herself. Thus, I declined smilingly and told her to keep for herself. This melon is also a very good buy. Rather big and it only costs $4.99. No gimmicks and everything looks good on the melon.
I managed to get Allyson's kodomo detergent liquid which they seldom have discount. Thus at this NTUC near my home, whatever stocks they have will be gone by evening. I knew I just had to bend down despite my aching back to get the detergent. Today, I bought a few things with the Fairprice branding. Dehumidifier, bread, tang yuan. I think I saved quite a bit hahhaha
Even the sugarless jam and shampoo which I bought were on offer. Especially the Dove shampoo. It's like nearly $1.50 cheaper. I'm sooooooooooo lucky!! hahhah I managed to grab the LAST bottle on the shelf. Phew!!! Today's grocery shopping trip really tired me out. I shall rest after I post this on my blog and enjoy my tang yuan :))
What have I been doing?
This week of rest has been quite alright for me. I've learnt to be more relaxed and am able to think more in depth into the things that I've been doing or had done or things that has been happening around me.
Just a few days back when I went out with my mother to get something. As my friends may know, my mum has developed a phobia of going out. Thus, we had to settle something urgent so I went over to her house to take her out to settle it. As I took the bus to my mother's place, it suddenly dawned on me that I've really been moving toooo fast all these years. Some may comment that I'm too young to make such a statement but seriously, I've never really stopped to admire the little things in life. As I hopped on the bus and got a seat, I observed how the homemakers are living their life.
Basically, they wake up in the morning, settle their husband and children, maybe take the children to school, then proceed to the market or supermarket to get the day's food or some groceries. Even if they didn't go to the market or supermarket, they probably go home to do some household chores like washing clothes, cleaning the floor etc. After that, they probably start preparing lunch, take a rest and wait for their children to be home.
I tried this the last two days. I packed breakfast for Jasper, changed diapers for Allyson, fed her, talked to her a little then say goodbye to my hubby and daughter. Then I went home, put the clothes to wash, boiled the day's water and take a look at what I should be taking down from the freezer to cook for Allyson tonight. We have tingkat so I need not have to worry too much about our dinner. After hanging the clothes, I take a walk out to buy newspapers and grab some fruits or some other necessities for the family. In my mind, I'm looking for the value buys to try to safe a bit of money. Some may start laughing at me for becoming an 'Auntie' hahaha. I'm not sure if I can continue with this kind of life if I become a full time homemaker but I'm sure enjoying these few days. I even told my mum that I can come take her out like 3 times a week if I decided to be a homemaker.
I believe that I won't be the kind to coop myself up at home. I may take up some part time jobs or maybe just give tuition once Allyson starts to go to school for the day. I may even enrol myself in some courses as well.
I can plan my household chores like what to do for each day and maybe settle down to plan for the night's menu or experiment with some new dishes. I'm sooo looking forward to this kind of life. BUT, it really takes a very brave me to quit my job and do this full time. With the INFLATION these days, it's really not easy to stop work. Many of the stay-home mums are trying to go back to the workforce. After discussion with Jasper, we decided to shelf this idea till he takes home a 5-figure salary every month hahahhha
Just a few days back when I went out with my mother to get something. As my friends may know, my mum has developed a phobia of going out. Thus, we had to settle something urgent so I went over to her house to take her out to settle it. As I took the bus to my mother's place, it suddenly dawned on me that I've really been moving toooo fast all these years. Some may comment that I'm too young to make such a statement but seriously, I've never really stopped to admire the little things in life. As I hopped on the bus and got a seat, I observed how the homemakers are living their life.
Basically, they wake up in the morning, settle their husband and children, maybe take the children to school, then proceed to the market or supermarket to get the day's food or some groceries. Even if they didn't go to the market or supermarket, they probably go home to do some household chores like washing clothes, cleaning the floor etc. After that, they probably start preparing lunch, take a rest and wait for their children to be home.
I tried this the last two days. I packed breakfast for Jasper, changed diapers for Allyson, fed her, talked to her a little then say goodbye to my hubby and daughter. Then I went home, put the clothes to wash, boiled the day's water and take a look at what I should be taking down from the freezer to cook for Allyson tonight. We have tingkat so I need not have to worry too much about our dinner. After hanging the clothes, I take a walk out to buy newspapers and grab some fruits or some other necessities for the family. In my mind, I'm looking for the value buys to try to safe a bit of money. Some may start laughing at me for becoming an 'Auntie' hahaha. I'm not sure if I can continue with this kind of life if I become a full time homemaker but I'm sure enjoying these few days. I even told my mum that I can come take her out like 3 times a week if I decided to be a homemaker.
I believe that I won't be the kind to coop myself up at home. I may take up some part time jobs or maybe just give tuition once Allyson starts to go to school for the day. I may even enrol myself in some courses as well.
I can plan my household chores like what to do for each day and maybe settle down to plan for the night's menu or experiment with some new dishes. I'm sooo looking forward to this kind of life. BUT, it really takes a very brave me to quit my job and do this full time. With the INFLATION these days, it's really not easy to stop work. Many of the stay-home mums are trying to go back to the workforce. After discussion with Jasper, we decided to shelf this idea till he takes home a 5-figure salary every month hahahhha
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Parenting
Allyson's 'mushroom head' is changed to another look. My in-laws took her for a hair cut over the weekend. They felt it's better that way. Well, it does look better and anyway, I've only been told after it's done so there's nothing much to say.
I once read in an article that when two persons get together and get married, they are marrying both sides of the family and have to embrace everything and everyone that/who comes with the two persons. I guess it's the same logic with parenting. Once a child is born, the child doesn't belong to the parents alone. we have to embrace whatever advice or actions that are being carried out by grandparents.
I've always thought of harmony in the family. Where need be, I try to keep quiet and just swallow whatever that's given to me. Good or bad advice, I just have to take it in and decide if it can be carried out. If whatever had been done already without my knowledge, then I just have to swallow whatever that is going to come out of my both and still grin and bear with the whole thing and everyone else. To me, what's the point of creating a scene when what's done cannot be undone.
Allyson had taken her many steps without support already. Though still a bit unstable as she tries to walk on her own, I am just very proud of her progress. Seeing her development every day really puts a smile on both Jasper and my face. These days, we put her on a mat and play games with her. Can be tiring but I guess, seeing the smiles and chuckles from her take away all the tiredness for a while.
Of cos, being able to move around on her own is an exciting experience for her. Thus, we need to constantly watch out for her and NEVER NEVER leave her unattended especially if she's walking around. I was told just over the weekend that young kids will definitely fall and hurt themselves when they start to walk. I agree partially but not totally. If we do not be alert with what the kid is doing or worse not even looking at the kid, then I would say it's our fault that the kid gets hurt. I'm sure we are not going to wait till something even more serious happens and still maintain that it's ok for young kids to hurt themselves when they learn to walk!? I don't dare to say that when I care for Allyson, there's no injuries at all BUT I dare to say that I have 100% concentration on her no matter how tired I am after work at night.
Can anyone understand the amount of anguish and sadness that overcame me as a mother but I still have to swallow whatever that is going to come out of my mouth? Seeing my little girl being injured is really upsetting. I just pray that she gets less of the injuries especially on her face area.
I once read in an article that when two persons get together and get married, they are marrying both sides of the family and have to embrace everything and everyone that/who comes with the two persons. I guess it's the same logic with parenting. Once a child is born, the child doesn't belong to the parents alone. we have to embrace whatever advice or actions that are being carried out by grandparents.
I've always thought of harmony in the family. Where need be, I try to keep quiet and just swallow whatever that's given to me. Good or bad advice, I just have to take it in and decide if it can be carried out. If whatever had been done already without my knowledge, then I just have to swallow whatever that is going to come out of my both and still grin and bear with the whole thing and everyone else. To me, what's the point of creating a scene when what's done cannot be undone.
Allyson had taken her many steps without support already. Though still a bit unstable as she tries to walk on her own, I am just very proud of her progress. Seeing her development every day really puts a smile on both Jasper and my face. These days, we put her on a mat and play games with her. Can be tiring but I guess, seeing the smiles and chuckles from her take away all the tiredness for a while.
Of cos, being able to move around on her own is an exciting experience for her. Thus, we need to constantly watch out for her and NEVER NEVER leave her unattended especially if she's walking around. I was told just over the weekend that young kids will definitely fall and hurt themselves when they start to walk. I agree partially but not totally. If we do not be alert with what the kid is doing or worse not even looking at the kid, then I would say it's our fault that the kid gets hurt. I'm sure we are not going to wait till something even more serious happens and still maintain that it's ok for young kids to hurt themselves when they learn to walk!? I don't dare to say that when I care for Allyson, there's no injuries at all BUT I dare to say that I have 100% concentration on her no matter how tired I am after work at night.
Can anyone understand the amount of anguish and sadness that overcame me as a mother but I still have to swallow whatever that is going to come out of my mouth? Seeing my little girl being injured is really upsetting. I just pray that she gets less of the injuries especially on her face area.
Revival
Had a turn of events over the last week and I didn't get my long awaited weekend to have hi-tea with my friends. Instead, I spent last Thursday to Saturday in the hospital.
I was warded for high fever (39.7 degree celsius) and bad back pain which doctors suspect to be kidney infection. After all the blood tests, urine tests, I was found to have stones in both my kidneys. Doc says no danger at the moment, just have to observe for another bout of high fever or severe back pain. A slight portion of my left kidney is a bit swollen and till now after discharge, I still feel the occasional bearable back pain. I was given 2 weeks hospitalisation leave to rest at home. The cause? Probably too much of calcium since I've been a dairy lover since young.
The stay in the hospital was depressing. I was telling Jasper that so long as I do not have fever, I would rather be at home resting than stay in the hospital. Every day, there's someone coming in to the room that I'm staying. Some of them came in very very distressed. The rest of the patients who have been staying for quite a while didn't look too good.
The ward that I was in is under Urology. Most of the patients who were in that ward were moving around with the urine bags. It could be kidney failure or probably other illnesses.
It was surprising that many of them in the ward were rather young people maybe in their early thirties to mid-forties. There was a young man in his early twenties there too. Of cos there were a few elderly but what dawned on me was illnesses are attacking the rather young.
I was wondering, at this age, it should be a world of discovery. There's so much to do. Time shouldn't be spent living the rest of the days in the hospital. My stay in the hospital made me realise that I should take things slower than what I'm doing now. What's the point of moving around soo fast and completing work but neglecting my health. There is so much I want to do with Allyson and go to places with Jasper and her.
Well, let me rest for these two weeks and see what I should do with my life. With the house and a kid, it's not easy to just give up our present jobs and go do something else which we both would really love to haahhah :)
During the time when I was hospitalised, thanks to wonderful family members and colleagues and good friends' support and concern. Many thanks to my own hubby Jasper for washing clothes and hanging them too :)
I was warded for high fever (39.7 degree celsius) and bad back pain which doctors suspect to be kidney infection. After all the blood tests, urine tests, I was found to have stones in both my kidneys. Doc says no danger at the moment, just have to observe for another bout of high fever or severe back pain. A slight portion of my left kidney is a bit swollen and till now after discharge, I still feel the occasional bearable back pain. I was given 2 weeks hospitalisation leave to rest at home. The cause? Probably too much of calcium since I've been a dairy lover since young.
The stay in the hospital was depressing. I was telling Jasper that so long as I do not have fever, I would rather be at home resting than stay in the hospital. Every day, there's someone coming in to the room that I'm staying. Some of them came in very very distressed. The rest of the patients who have been staying for quite a while didn't look too good.
The ward that I was in is under Urology. Most of the patients who were in that ward were moving around with the urine bags. It could be kidney failure or probably other illnesses.
It was surprising that many of them in the ward were rather young people maybe in their early thirties to mid-forties. There was a young man in his early twenties there too. Of cos there were a few elderly but what dawned on me was illnesses are attacking the rather young.
I was wondering, at this age, it should be a world of discovery. There's so much to do. Time shouldn't be spent living the rest of the days in the hospital. My stay in the hospital made me realise that I should take things slower than what I'm doing now. What's the point of moving around soo fast and completing work but neglecting my health. There is so much I want to do with Allyson and go to places with Jasper and her.
Well, let me rest for these two weeks and see what I should do with my life. With the house and a kid, it's not easy to just give up our present jobs and go do something else which we both would really love to haahhah :)
During the time when I was hospitalised, thanks to wonderful family members and colleagues and good friends' support and concern. Many thanks to my own hubby Jasper for washing clothes and hanging them too :)
Friday, July 11, 2008
Welcoming the Weekend
It's Friday and I'm surprised that I feel quite happy and not too tired this week. The happy vibes are in me this whole week hehehe. Hope the vibes will be left in my body for the rest of my life hahah.
I just called to enrol Allyson into a play gym. She's soooo active so I thought it would be nice to just let her go have some fun. It's a trial session so no need to commit too early.
Every time when I'm free, I like to look at her 'mushroom' head photograph ahhaha. Really uplifts my spirits. Must develop the pics for my family members especially my mum lighten her spirits up and relax more :))
We are thinking of taking a short break in September. Hotels here are very expensive cos F1 is starting. My favourite hotel is out of the question. Checked out the pricing and realised it's more worth it if I take my money overseas haahah
Wonder what we shall come up with. Jasper suggested Sentosa and I'm already thinking of the nice Spa hotel hahah wonder if we should part with the money ;p
I shall go back to my marking now while waiting for Jasper :))
Wishing everyone a happy weekend!!!
I just called to enrol Allyson into a play gym. She's soooo active so I thought it would be nice to just let her go have some fun. It's a trial session so no need to commit too early.
Every time when I'm free, I like to look at her 'mushroom' head photograph ahhaha. Really uplifts my spirits. Must develop the pics for my family members especially my mum lighten her spirits up and relax more :))
We are thinking of taking a short break in September. Hotels here are very expensive cos F1 is starting. My favourite hotel is out of the question. Checked out the pricing and realised it's more worth it if I take my money overseas haahah
Wonder what we shall come up with. Jasper suggested Sentosa and I'm already thinking of the nice Spa hotel hahah wonder if we should part with the money ;p
I shall go back to my marking now while waiting for Jasper :))
Wishing everyone a happy weekend!!!
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Beautiful July
Don't know what came over me but I feel extremely cheerful today. I'm not sure if it's cos of the weather or maybe I've become wiser and learnt to take things easier. hahah :)
The picnic last Sunday was interesting hahaha. Our families enjoyed ourselves especially my niece Sammi who build sandcastles with my brother and sister-in-law. East Coast Beach is not very clean so we brought our mats and table covers to make sure that we have a decent place to sit. Allyson had a bit of fun too watching people cycle, blade and run by. It was quite a short gathering. We managed to have some food...luckily!! cos after that there was heavy downpour. there were at least 5 families hiding under a miserable shelter hahahah. We had to open our umbrellas to shelter ourselves from the rain. We were at the Big Splash area. Nevertheless, we had a bit of fun and most importantly, a mini get-together for both the in laws heehhe :)
This coming Sunday, we are celebrating Sammi's birthday. She is four years old this year and my mum bought her a cake. Sammi chose the Thomas the Train pattern. Quite surprising for a girl hehehe wonder what our Allyson will choose next year hahahah
Our little allyson has just cut her hair. We took her to the salon beside our flat. It costs about $5 and I must say the hairstylist's skills is excellent! Within 5 minutes, Allyson had her hair cut and there was minimal stray hairs on her neck and clothing. Allyson's hairstyle is termed as the 'mushroom head'.
She trying to walk on her own but she needs to hold on to our hands or the wall. She seems very afraid to fall. She could stand up with both her hands raised when she's on our bed but when she comes to the cold hard floor, she doesn't dare to stand up. Some relatives commented why she couldn't walk as she's already coming to 15 months. I seriously don't know how to react. I guess it's best for her to stand on her own two feet when she's ready. What we can do is to practise walking around the house with her and when we are outside. She gets really excited but at the same time, a little lazy. She would rather crawl more than walk a few more steps.
I'm really looking forward to a nice Saturday with my buddies hehehehe without Allyson and Jasper around. My gal buddies and I are going for hi-tea and then wine shopping and we are thinking of booking a hotel room for the night so that we could just talk our hearts out hahahah.
I've longed for a day like that. I guess this is what they call 'ME TIME'.
I will definitely miss Allyson and Jasper but I guess I need a break. It so happened that Jasper has something on that Saturday and we can request for Allyson's grandparents to take care of her. Let's hope there will be no hiccups. I'm soooooooooo looking forward to that weekend.
The picnic last Sunday was interesting hahaha. Our families enjoyed ourselves especially my niece Sammi who build sandcastles with my brother and sister-in-law. East Coast Beach is not very clean so we brought our mats and table covers to make sure that we have a decent place to sit. Allyson had a bit of fun too watching people cycle, blade and run by. It was quite a short gathering. We managed to have some food...luckily!! cos after that there was heavy downpour. there were at least 5 families hiding under a miserable shelter hahahah. We had to open our umbrellas to shelter ourselves from the rain. We were at the Big Splash area. Nevertheless, we had a bit of fun and most importantly, a mini get-together for both the in laws heehhe :)
This coming Sunday, we are celebrating Sammi's birthday. She is four years old this year and my mum bought her a cake. Sammi chose the Thomas the Train pattern. Quite surprising for a girl hehehe wonder what our Allyson will choose next year hahahah
Our little allyson has just cut her hair. We took her to the salon beside our flat. It costs about $5 and I must say the hairstylist's skills is excellent! Within 5 minutes, Allyson had her hair cut and there was minimal stray hairs on her neck and clothing. Allyson's hairstyle is termed as the 'mushroom head'.
She trying to walk on her own but she needs to hold on to our hands or the wall. She seems very afraid to fall. She could stand up with both her hands raised when she's on our bed but when she comes to the cold hard floor, she doesn't dare to stand up. Some relatives commented why she couldn't walk as she's already coming to 15 months. I seriously don't know how to react. I guess it's best for her to stand on her own two feet when she's ready. What we can do is to practise walking around the house with her and when we are outside. She gets really excited but at the same time, a little lazy. She would rather crawl more than walk a few more steps.
I'm really looking forward to a nice Saturday with my buddies hehehehe without Allyson and Jasper around. My gal buddies and I are going for hi-tea and then wine shopping and we are thinking of booking a hotel room for the night so that we could just talk our hearts out hahahah.
I've longed for a day like that. I guess this is what they call 'ME TIME'.
I will definitely miss Allyson and Jasper but I guess I need a break. It so happened that Jasper has something on that Saturday and we can request for Allyson's grandparents to take care of her. Let's hope there will be no hiccups. I'm soooooooooo looking forward to that weekend.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Tired Body and Soul
School just started a week ago and I'm down with flu today. It had been an exciting and heart-stopping week. Our school's preparing for Open House this coming Saturday and somethings just had to cropped up when I thought everything had been planned out well by another team member. Was really disappointed in the way things worked out. Luckily there were other team members to fight the fire or else I might as well put my head on my P's table for it to be chopped. We are expected an importang GOH to come during the Open House too. Maybe that's why I'm feeling more pressure.
The Australia trip was not what I expected it to be. Instead of relaxing and enjoying myself thoroughly during this long awaited mid break, I was laden with much unhappiness. All the unhappiness had dispersed once I arrived in Singapore. This is the first time that I longed to come home after being away for just the first few days. I'm always very reluctant to leave my holiday destination. Hopefully, I'm able to enjoy a really good holiday this coming year-end holidays.
This coming Sunday, we are all going for a picnic at East Coast Park. All thanks to my hubby's suggestion. I'm sooo excited and really looking forward to it. It is going to be a very busy week in school. Hopefully, I'm able to recover from my flu today and meet the challenges this week and enjoy the picnic this Sunday.
Time for me to get back to bed....
The Australia trip was not what I expected it to be. Instead of relaxing and enjoying myself thoroughly during this long awaited mid break, I was laden with much unhappiness. All the unhappiness had dispersed once I arrived in Singapore. This is the first time that I longed to come home after being away for just the first few days. I'm always very reluctant to leave my holiday destination. Hopefully, I'm able to enjoy a really good holiday this coming year-end holidays.
This coming Sunday, we are all going for a picnic at East Coast Park. All thanks to my hubby's suggestion. I'm sooo excited and really looking forward to it. It is going to be a very busy week in school. Hopefully, I'm able to recover from my flu today and meet the challenges this week and enjoy the picnic this Sunday.
Time for me to get back to bed....
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Life's Ups n Downs
After all the worrying, mum got better n is back to her normal self. We all heaved a sigh of relief. Now, she just need to go for a scan to make sure that there is no growth in her head.
This is the 'up'.
The down is, allyson contarcted throat infection. pd gave medical leave till friday. she can't go to school n i can't go either. think i may just get reprimanded for piling up my work soon.
Jus have to pray hard that my mum is ok during the period that i am away....
This is the 'up'.
The down is, allyson contarcted throat infection. pd gave medical leave till friday. she can't go to school n i can't go either. think i may just get reprimanded for piling up my work soon.
Jus have to pray hard that my mum is ok during the period that i am away....
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Unpredictable Life
As I started on the first day of the school holidays, I was welcomed by news of my mother losing her memory. Thank goodness she's still able to recognise all of us, speech is still coherent and limbs are mobile. All she could not remember is things that happened a few days ago and whatever that she has planned for the future. When I rushed to the A&E in CGH to meet up with my dad, I just patted her on the shoulder and stroked her hand.
She just turned and looked at me and asked, "Aren't you teaching today?" I replied, "It's the start of the school holidays and I just went for supplementary class today." 5 minutes later, she asked again, "Not teaching today?" This question went on for about 8 times every 5 - 10 minutes. Her next question was what day it was. She asked about 8 times every 10 - 15 minutes. Her retention of memory is not there. We don't know what's the actual cause of this loss of memory. Throughout the few hours when we were waiting to see the doctor in the A&E as well as wait for a bed space, she kept telling us that she could not remember what had happened last two days and didn't even remember going to bed the night before.
Mummy has always been reasonably active. She reads alot and even does crossword puzzles at home. Every now and then, she thinks of new recipes and tries them out to feed my dad and all of us when we go back for family gatherings. She goes out with friends for lunch, tea and shopping as well.
We were wondering whether the charity show screened the night before had any impact on her before she went to bed. Throughout the show, my dad said that she didn't cry out loud and they completed the whole show together. The next morning when she got up, my dad found her sitting and staring into space and when she went out to the living room and kitchen, she started asking my dad why there were sooo many biscuits, nuts around. She even asked him who bought them.
I was trying to keep my sanity. I was worried for my mum and didn't know how I can help her. On the other hand, I had to look after Allyson and take her back from school. By 7pm, I suddenly felt soo tired and very emotional. Allyson was rather active and refused to lie still while i was wiping her. It took me half hour to settle her. After feeding her porridge, I could not stop crying. Maybe it's the stress knowing that there's lots of work waiting for me in school, my mum's condition and moreover, I was alone at home. Jasper had to attend classes till 8.30pm. I sms my good friend Jenny and asked if she could come over to accompany us.
I just couldn't take it any more. It happened so many times. Whenever I have time to stay back in school to complete work, something is bound to happen. WHY?!? I'm trying very hard to be more optimistic and keep an open mind or else I may just slip into depression.
She just turned and looked at me and asked, "Aren't you teaching today?" I replied, "It's the start of the school holidays and I just went for supplementary class today." 5 minutes later, she asked again, "Not teaching today?" This question went on for about 8 times every 5 - 10 minutes. Her next question was what day it was. She asked about 8 times every 10 - 15 minutes. Her retention of memory is not there. We don't know what's the actual cause of this loss of memory. Throughout the few hours when we were waiting to see the doctor in the A&E as well as wait for a bed space, she kept telling us that she could not remember what had happened last two days and didn't even remember going to bed the night before.
Mummy has always been reasonably active. She reads alot and even does crossword puzzles at home. Every now and then, she thinks of new recipes and tries them out to feed my dad and all of us when we go back for family gatherings. She goes out with friends for lunch, tea and shopping as well.
We were wondering whether the charity show screened the night before had any impact on her before she went to bed. Throughout the show, my dad said that she didn't cry out loud and they completed the whole show together. The next morning when she got up, my dad found her sitting and staring into space and when she went out to the living room and kitchen, she started asking my dad why there were sooo many biscuits, nuts around. She even asked him who bought them.
I was trying to keep my sanity. I was worried for my mum and didn't know how I can help her. On the other hand, I had to look after Allyson and take her back from school. By 7pm, I suddenly felt soo tired and very emotional. Allyson was rather active and refused to lie still while i was wiping her. It took me half hour to settle her. After feeding her porridge, I could not stop crying. Maybe it's the stress knowing that there's lots of work waiting for me in school, my mum's condition and moreover, I was alone at home. Jasper had to attend classes till 8.30pm. I sms my good friend Jenny and asked if she could come over to accompany us.
I just couldn't take it any more. It happened so many times. Whenever I have time to stay back in school to complete work, something is bound to happen. WHY?!? I'm trying very hard to be more optimistic and keep an open mind or else I may just slip into depression.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Month of May
May is a happy and stressful month. Very confusing isn't it? It is happy becos the following month is June and it will be vacation time for me hahahha. Stressfull cos it's the pupils' exams and there's lots to do and settle before we can really take a break. We really need that break.
These days, the feeling of changing my job is back again. This time, it's even stronger than the last time. There's been so much hype about private tutors and tuition centres and we see parents thanking the tutors and teachers in the tuition centres when their children did well in the exams. So what's the value of a teacher now? Seriously, in my own opinion, I feel that we have no more value. There's no respect from the public especially those parents. I was talking to a fellow colleague and she used the word 'degeneration'. You look at the way youngsters behave these days and even young kids' behaviour, it's seriously appalling.
Sometimes I wonder, did parents ever wonder why their kid could excel with tutors and teachers in the tuition centre? It's becos of the ratio for goodness sake. Their ratio is either 1:1 or maybe at most 1:20. Usually, tuition centres tend to have smaller groups. I wish I could have that in my classroom.
In an ordinary classroom in a school, we are facing on the average 37 - 40 pupils. These pupils are of mixed abilities. I have pupils scoring as high as 70 for maths and as low as below 10. We are also facing a class of students with different behaviours. Many times, we have to address intolerable behaviour in class immediately. We do not have any teacher assistants like what other countries have. We handle admin work, nannying job, teaching job, sometimes even a little counselling job. If there's only one school counsellor in a school serving 2000 pupils, I'm sure we can't send every child who needs a listening ear to the counsellor.
I was joking with a colleague that if any parent in my class were to pay me $3k a month teaching their child only, I seriously don't mind taking up and offer and really showing them results.
Just two weeks ago, I distributed the exam results to my pupils. Guess what?!? Those who failed badly could actually laugh it off and even exclaimed loudly 'hey! I failed!!'. Some critics may comment that it's a way for them to let off some steam as Singapore is a very stressful country always trying to climb up the ladder. Maybe they are just destressing themselves.
My question is this, where is the stress when very little effort has been put into daily work and revision.
As for the parents, just yesterday, I heard from a fellow colleague from another school that a parent actually wrote a very hurtful comment when he send out consent forms to have some of his pupils back next week just for about 2 hours over two days. The reason being these pupils are rather weak in maths and he was trying to revise past topics so as to prepare them for the new term. This is the hurtful comment (may not be in exact words) -- ' the lessons are not necessary if the teacher has been effective during the whole term'. When I heard that, I really flipped. I just felt like throwing a gunny sack over this parent's head and bashing him up. Yes, it's a father who wrote this comment. I guess it's probably a parent who thinks that his child is sooooooo smart that he doesn't need any extra lessons. What's wrong with this parent. You think we like to have extra lessons with your child so much?!?! Hey, it's our holidays. We can just not bother but becos of our professionalism. We have a responsibility towards each child's well being and results.
Really, all these years of teaching, the kids as well as their parents are getting from bad to worse. I wonder what kind of a society is my child living in and how she will turn out to be in the future.
I'm trying to get another job. away from all these nonsensical pupils and parents. It may be a 8am - 5pm office job but at least, I don't have to take back any stuff to mull over it. Everyday, I rush like crazy in school trying to meet datelines, plan work for pupils and thinking how to improve their results as well as plan for school events. When we get home, it's marking and more marking. For people like me with no maid, no parents or in laws staying with me and I have a child is really very trying. My race starts from 4.30am...the time that I start waking up and preparing for the day. Sometimes, I don't get any sleep in the afternoon at all as I'm slogging my guts out in school.
I was just telling Jasper last night that if I concentrate on my work, I will not have any time to spend with allyson. If I spend time with allyson, I neglect my work.
I think I've reached the point of hating my job. Was asking my peers in the corporate world if they have any jobs for me. A good friend asked me what do I want to do. I was stumped. I'm not sure if I've been in teaching for a while that I just lost that confidence to go into a corporate world. I didn't join teaching straight after my graduation. I worked as a temp in a few big organisations as well as a government agency. Though there was a lot to do but once it's time to leave the office, I leave everything behind. I did not need to take anything away with me to mull over it at home. That's what I want.
Teaching is no longer noble when we are being 'trampled' by these sickening people. I just feel like telling these parents out there to just take their children out for home schooling if they feel that teachers like us are not very effective in our teaching.
Let's hope that I would be able to get a decent job matching my present pay soon.....
ending on a happy note : I'm soooooooooo looking forward to my holidays!!!!! hahahahah :)))
These days, the feeling of changing my job is back again. This time, it's even stronger than the last time. There's been so much hype about private tutors and tuition centres and we see parents thanking the tutors and teachers in the tuition centres when their children did well in the exams. So what's the value of a teacher now? Seriously, in my own opinion, I feel that we have no more value. There's no respect from the public especially those parents. I was talking to a fellow colleague and she used the word 'degeneration'. You look at the way youngsters behave these days and even young kids' behaviour, it's seriously appalling.
Sometimes I wonder, did parents ever wonder why their kid could excel with tutors and teachers in the tuition centre? It's becos of the ratio for goodness sake. Their ratio is either 1:1 or maybe at most 1:20. Usually, tuition centres tend to have smaller groups. I wish I could have that in my classroom.
In an ordinary classroom in a school, we are facing on the average 37 - 40 pupils. These pupils are of mixed abilities. I have pupils scoring as high as 70 for maths and as low as below 10. We are also facing a class of students with different behaviours. Many times, we have to address intolerable behaviour in class immediately. We do not have any teacher assistants like what other countries have. We handle admin work, nannying job, teaching job, sometimes even a little counselling job. If there's only one school counsellor in a school serving 2000 pupils, I'm sure we can't send every child who needs a listening ear to the counsellor.
I was joking with a colleague that if any parent in my class were to pay me $3k a month teaching their child only, I seriously don't mind taking up and offer and really showing them results.
Just two weeks ago, I distributed the exam results to my pupils. Guess what?!? Those who failed badly could actually laugh it off and even exclaimed loudly 'hey! I failed!!'. Some critics may comment that it's a way for them to let off some steam as Singapore is a very stressful country always trying to climb up the ladder. Maybe they are just destressing themselves.
My question is this, where is the stress when very little effort has been put into daily work and revision.
As for the parents, just yesterday, I heard from a fellow colleague from another school that a parent actually wrote a very hurtful comment when he send out consent forms to have some of his pupils back next week just for about 2 hours over two days. The reason being these pupils are rather weak in maths and he was trying to revise past topics so as to prepare them for the new term. This is the hurtful comment (may not be in exact words) -- ' the lessons are not necessary if the teacher has been effective during the whole term'. When I heard that, I really flipped. I just felt like throwing a gunny sack over this parent's head and bashing him up. Yes, it's a father who wrote this comment. I guess it's probably a parent who thinks that his child is sooooooo smart that he doesn't need any extra lessons. What's wrong with this parent. You think we like to have extra lessons with your child so much?!?! Hey, it's our holidays. We can just not bother but becos of our professionalism. We have a responsibility towards each child's well being and results.
Really, all these years of teaching, the kids as well as their parents are getting from bad to worse. I wonder what kind of a society is my child living in and how she will turn out to be in the future.
I'm trying to get another job. away from all these nonsensical pupils and parents. It may be a 8am - 5pm office job but at least, I don't have to take back any stuff to mull over it. Everyday, I rush like crazy in school trying to meet datelines, plan work for pupils and thinking how to improve their results as well as plan for school events. When we get home, it's marking and more marking. For people like me with no maid, no parents or in laws staying with me and I have a child is really very trying. My race starts from 4.30am...the time that I start waking up and preparing for the day. Sometimes, I don't get any sleep in the afternoon at all as I'm slogging my guts out in school.
I was just telling Jasper last night that if I concentrate on my work, I will not have any time to spend with allyson. If I spend time with allyson, I neglect my work.
I think I've reached the point of hating my job. Was asking my peers in the corporate world if they have any jobs for me. A good friend asked me what do I want to do. I was stumped. I'm not sure if I've been in teaching for a while that I just lost that confidence to go into a corporate world. I didn't join teaching straight after my graduation. I worked as a temp in a few big organisations as well as a government agency. Though there was a lot to do but once it's time to leave the office, I leave everything behind. I did not need to take anything away with me to mull over it at home. That's what I want.
Teaching is no longer noble when we are being 'trampled' by these sickening people. I just feel like telling these parents out there to just take their children out for home schooling if they feel that teachers like us are not very effective in our teaching.
Let's hope that I would be able to get a decent job matching my present pay soon.....
ending on a happy note : I'm soooooooooo looking forward to my holidays!!!!! hahahahah :)))
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Interesting Month of April
Yay!! We finally found the cause of Allyson's cough. Poor little girl is allergic to dust and furry toys. After giving her the nasal spray, nasal drops, she's feeling much better now. At least she doesn't make soooo much noise when she sleeps at night.
She still gets the occasional cough and a bit of runny nose but it's alright. Well, we can't possibly keep the air in our home 100% dust free.
Doc recommended that we wash her and our bedsheets with hot water about 40 degree celsius. I'm seriously considering changing my washing maching to one which has temperature control.
Cos of this allergy, her guardian angels, giraffe and elmo has to be put away. We did receive some soft toys as gifts, I must find time to take them out and give them away to other kids. I'm just very happy that the prolonged cough and runny nose mystery had been solved.
It's her birthday in 2 days and we just had a mini celebration for her last Saturday. Invited some friends and relatives over to my in-laws' place. She was sooo excited that she slept rather late that night. Thanks to all friends and relatives who gave thoughtful gifts to bless my little girl. Both Jasper and I are just very happy to see our friends and relatives showering Allyson with their wishes. We bought her two helium filled balloons and my mum-in-law even made a big album of her photographs for all guests to take a look. Jasper and I also prepared birthday favours for our guests..just something small for them to take home - magnets with baby pic on it (not allyson's as we didn't have time to go specially make these magnets)
Apologies to guests who had to sit outside as most of the relatives were in the living room. I'm rather grateful that all friends whom I've invited have been rather accomodating. I've really not been a good host. A special thank you to my parents who popped by for a while.
The down side of this month was my sudden illness. Last Thursday night, I suddenly had chills. Very very bad chills. I was shivering so badly that it lasted for nearly 3 hours. After that, I started to sweat sooo much and my temperature shot up to 39 degree celsius. By Friday morning, my fever dropped to 38 degree celsius. I went to see my GP, took some medicine and I thought I was well. Come Saturday, I had high fever AGAIN!!! This time was also about 39 degree celsius. I went to my GP again and requested for a jab cos I really don't want to miss Allyson's birthday party that night. The jab was useful. Fever subsided almost immediately and I was well again for the whole day and night. By the time Sunday came, it was back to the fever again. This time, we went to CGH for blood test just in case I had dengue. Even my GP was not too sure thus he gave me a letter to go to A&E for blood test as the results will be known in an hour.
Blood test results showed that my platelets were slightly low and the MO at CGH was suspecting that I had early stage dengue but he was also puzzled that I had no rashes. Moreover, I had been taking the anti-biotics from my GP thus, the reduction of platelets could probably be due to the high fever the last two days. He told me to return for another blood test on Tuesday.
When my mum-in-law heard about it, she immediately called her sister and asked if there's anything I should take to increase the blood platelets. There is this soup which she stewed using small bittergourd and whole frog. It's like stewing in such a way that only the essence of the ingredients come out. I had two bowls. Not sure if it's really cos of the soup or maybe i'm just on the road to recovery, the platelets results was very good. my platelets increased from 208 - 265. I had no more fever too *yay* !! I was sooooo relieved that it was not dengue or else I really don't know what to do with Allyson and my work in school. It's really piling up!!!
When I was having high fever, lying on my bed, praying very hard that I would be able to get well soon, I just can't help feeling sooo afraid of leaving this world. I just read a friend's blog stating that she watched 'The Bucket List'. She came up with a bucket list (a list of what you would want to fulfil before you kick the bucket). My greatest worry is Allyson. She's still sooo young and she's only turning one this Friday. There's soooo much I want to do with her, sooo many places that I want to take her along with me. The thought of both of us going shopping for clothing, accessories etc seemed sooooo far away when I was having the high fever.
I shedded a few tears and prayed really hard that I would get well soon.
Gotten some inspiration from my friend, I shall come up with my own bucket list too, not in order of priority.
1) To see Allyson grow up healthily and develop well in all areas
2) To see Allyson get married
3) To have a few more siblings for Allyson and see all the siblings grow up healthily, develop well in all areas and get married
4) To visit Switzerland
5) To migrate to New Zealand / Canada
6) To go on a holiday with my parents
7) To open a small cafe
8) To stop work and just take care of the family, go shopping, take my kids everywhere
9) To drive a 7-seater / BMW / Lexus
10) To build and own a dream home, design the dream home and not worrying about budget
I guess, that's about all for my bucket list :)
Let's hope the month of May will bring good news and everything will just move smoothly.
She still gets the occasional cough and a bit of runny nose but it's alright. Well, we can't possibly keep the air in our home 100% dust free.
Doc recommended that we wash her and our bedsheets with hot water about 40 degree celsius. I'm seriously considering changing my washing maching to one which has temperature control.
Cos of this allergy, her guardian angels, giraffe and elmo has to be put away. We did receive some soft toys as gifts, I must find time to take them out and give them away to other kids. I'm just very happy that the prolonged cough and runny nose mystery had been solved.
It's her birthday in 2 days and we just had a mini celebration for her last Saturday. Invited some friends and relatives over to my in-laws' place. She was sooo excited that she slept rather late that night. Thanks to all friends and relatives who gave thoughtful gifts to bless my little girl. Both Jasper and I are just very happy to see our friends and relatives showering Allyson with their wishes. We bought her two helium filled balloons and my mum-in-law even made a big album of her photographs for all guests to take a look. Jasper and I also prepared birthday favours for our guests..just something small for them to take home - magnets with baby pic on it (not allyson's as we didn't have time to go specially make these magnets)
Apologies to guests who had to sit outside as most of the relatives were in the living room. I'm rather grateful that all friends whom I've invited have been rather accomodating. I've really not been a good host. A special thank you to my parents who popped by for a while.
The down side of this month was my sudden illness. Last Thursday night, I suddenly had chills. Very very bad chills. I was shivering so badly that it lasted for nearly 3 hours. After that, I started to sweat sooo much and my temperature shot up to 39 degree celsius. By Friday morning, my fever dropped to 38 degree celsius. I went to see my GP, took some medicine and I thought I was well. Come Saturday, I had high fever AGAIN!!! This time was also about 39 degree celsius. I went to my GP again and requested for a jab cos I really don't want to miss Allyson's birthday party that night. The jab was useful. Fever subsided almost immediately and I was well again for the whole day and night. By the time Sunday came, it was back to the fever again. This time, we went to CGH for blood test just in case I had dengue. Even my GP was not too sure thus he gave me a letter to go to A&E for blood test as the results will be known in an hour.
Blood test results showed that my platelets were slightly low and the MO at CGH was suspecting that I had early stage dengue but he was also puzzled that I had no rashes. Moreover, I had been taking the anti-biotics from my GP thus, the reduction of platelets could probably be due to the high fever the last two days. He told me to return for another blood test on Tuesday.
When my mum-in-law heard about it, she immediately called her sister and asked if there's anything I should take to increase the blood platelets. There is this soup which she stewed using small bittergourd and whole frog. It's like stewing in such a way that only the essence of the ingredients come out. I had two bowls. Not sure if it's really cos of the soup or maybe i'm just on the road to recovery, the platelets results was very good. my platelets increased from 208 - 265. I had no more fever too *yay* !! I was sooooo relieved that it was not dengue or else I really don't know what to do with Allyson and my work in school. It's really piling up!!!
When I was having high fever, lying on my bed, praying very hard that I would be able to get well soon, I just can't help feeling sooo afraid of leaving this world. I just read a friend's blog stating that she watched 'The Bucket List'. She came up with a bucket list (a list of what you would want to fulfil before you kick the bucket). My greatest worry is Allyson. She's still sooo young and she's only turning one this Friday. There's soooo much I want to do with her, sooo many places that I want to take her along with me. The thought of both of us going shopping for clothing, accessories etc seemed sooooo far away when I was having the high fever.
I shedded a few tears and prayed really hard that I would get well soon.
Gotten some inspiration from my friend, I shall come up with my own bucket list too, not in order of priority.
1) To see Allyson grow up healthily and develop well in all areas
2) To see Allyson get married
3) To have a few more siblings for Allyson and see all the siblings grow up healthily, develop well in all areas and get married
4) To visit Switzerland
5) To migrate to New Zealand / Canada
6) To go on a holiday with my parents
7) To open a small cafe
8) To stop work and just take care of the family, go shopping, take my kids everywhere
9) To drive a 7-seater / BMW / Lexus
10) To build and own a dream home, design the dream home and not worrying about budget
I guess, that's about all for my bucket list :)
Let's hope the month of May will bring good news and everything will just move smoothly.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
A New School Term
The new term is starting tomorrow and I'm down with a very sore throat and cough. My poor allyson is getting slimmer cos she has been coughing for the last few weeks. Whenever I see her cough, I have the impulse to quit my job the next day and just take care of her till she's 2 years old? hahahha I know it would only be possible in my dreams hahaha.
From tomorrow onwards, I would have datelines to meet for setting exam papers and loads of other things to do with my pupils. I'm going to start another remedial class just for English to help some of my pupils to do better in their exams. After all, I have a responsibility to get them to graduate from the primary school.
Hopefully, everything and everyone in my life will turn out great and fabulous from tomorrow onwards!!
From tomorrow onwards, I would have datelines to meet for setting exam papers and loads of other things to do with my pupils. I'm going to start another remedial class just for English to help some of my pupils to do better in their exams. After all, I have a responsibility to get them to graduate from the primary school.
Hopefully, everything and everyone in my life will turn out great and fabulous from tomorrow onwards!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Dydy's back!!!
*Phew* I finally have some time to put in some entries to my blog heheheh. Didn't realise that I've not been putting in any entries this year. It has been a really hectic 3 months since school started. Everyday, I would be in a rush trying to complete my work in school and doing things as fast as I could at home so that I would have more time to spend with Allyson.
Allyson's coming to 11 months in 2 weeks and she's getting very active. What breaks my heart is her frequent runny nose/cough and occasionally fever. I know that part of the reason would be her low immunity and the other part would be her teething stage. Not much that we can do but both Jasper and I are trying our best to make her feel better by giving her teething sticks (very hard biscuits cooled in the fridge) and teething rings (cooled in the fridge in advance). Other times, we just allow her to put her fingers into her mouth as her molars are coming out soon.
Seeing her mucus coming out of her nose and hearing the phlegm that's in her throat when she coughs really breaks our hearts. Everyday, I pray so hard for her to be healthy and hopefully this is just a passing phase for her.
Just last week, I nearly collapsed due to tiredness I guess. I had symptoms of breathlessness and giddiness. Many times, I would just brush the symptoms off and just try to take things slower. I gave up last week and had to see a doc. When I was at the clinic, I suddenly felt very tired. I had a blank facial expression and many things just kept going through my mind. I was going to burst out screaming until a I saw a cute baby at the clinic. I was wondering if I was going to go berserk! Seeing the baby kind of jolted me out of my racing thoughts. I remembered that Jasper and Allyson were waiting for me at home and I should try to be optimistic and take things slower regardless of what I face in my daily life.
Just as I was trying to go slow since it's the March holidays, I had to go through a sharp pain at the side of my waist on Sunday. I was kind of woken up by the pain at 2.15am. Whichever position I tried to sleep was of no use. I don't know what happened. I woke Jasper up and he suggested I take a muscle relaxant tablet. It was useful and I fell asleep for a few hours. The pain was really unbearable. I quickly saw a doctor the next morning and he concluded that it was some infection and I was prescribed antibiotics. So far, the pain has not returned and I'm praying hard that I would be healthy soon.
There are three things which I am looking forward to - Allyson walking on her own two feet soon, our first holiday to australia in june with my in laws and of course we are taking Allyson along and a holiday in december with my parents and bro's family. Hopefully, these three things will push me through the rest of the year and provide some motivation for me to last till the end of the year.
Many have asked if I'm going to have a second child soon. I really don't know. I'm still kind of recovering mentally from the first abortion. Many times, when I read in magazines that so-and-so was pregnant again just after 3 months of giving birth to the first child and the 2nd child was born healthily. I can't help but shed a tear as I read. A good friend mentioned that I am a brave woman. Everytime I felt like crying, I would think of what my friend said and all the encouraging words that others have given me.
I would love to give allyson a younger sibling but I'm really not sure when that will be. I guess, I shall leave to the heavens to decide if I should be blessed with a second child.
Allyson's coming to 11 months in 2 weeks and she's getting very active. What breaks my heart is her frequent runny nose/cough and occasionally fever. I know that part of the reason would be her low immunity and the other part would be her teething stage. Not much that we can do but both Jasper and I are trying our best to make her feel better by giving her teething sticks (very hard biscuits cooled in the fridge) and teething rings (cooled in the fridge in advance). Other times, we just allow her to put her fingers into her mouth as her molars are coming out soon.
Seeing her mucus coming out of her nose and hearing the phlegm that's in her throat when she coughs really breaks our hearts. Everyday, I pray so hard for her to be healthy and hopefully this is just a passing phase for her.
Just last week, I nearly collapsed due to tiredness I guess. I had symptoms of breathlessness and giddiness. Many times, I would just brush the symptoms off and just try to take things slower. I gave up last week and had to see a doc. When I was at the clinic, I suddenly felt very tired. I had a blank facial expression and many things just kept going through my mind. I was going to burst out screaming until a I saw a cute baby at the clinic. I was wondering if I was going to go berserk! Seeing the baby kind of jolted me out of my racing thoughts. I remembered that Jasper and Allyson were waiting for me at home and I should try to be optimistic and take things slower regardless of what I face in my daily life.
Just as I was trying to go slow since it's the March holidays, I had to go through a sharp pain at the side of my waist on Sunday. I was kind of woken up by the pain at 2.15am. Whichever position I tried to sleep was of no use. I don't know what happened. I woke Jasper up and he suggested I take a muscle relaxant tablet. It was useful and I fell asleep for a few hours. The pain was really unbearable. I quickly saw a doctor the next morning and he concluded that it was some infection and I was prescribed antibiotics. So far, the pain has not returned and I'm praying hard that I would be healthy soon.
There are three things which I am looking forward to - Allyson walking on her own two feet soon, our first holiday to australia in june with my in laws and of course we are taking Allyson along and a holiday in december with my parents and bro's family. Hopefully, these three things will push me through the rest of the year and provide some motivation for me to last till the end of the year.
Many have asked if I'm going to have a second child soon. I really don't know. I'm still kind of recovering mentally from the first abortion. Many times, when I read in magazines that so-and-so was pregnant again just after 3 months of giving birth to the first child and the 2nd child was born healthily. I can't help but shed a tear as I read. A good friend mentioned that I am a brave woman. Everytime I felt like crying, I would think of what my friend said and all the encouraging words that others have given me.
I would love to give allyson a younger sibling but I'm really not sure when that will be. I guess, I shall leave to the heavens to decide if I should be blessed with a second child.
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