After all the worrying, mum got better n is back to her normal self. We all heaved a sigh of relief. Now, she just need to go for a scan to make sure that there is no growth in her head.
This is the 'up'.
The down is, allyson contarcted throat infection. pd gave medical leave till friday. she can't go to school n i can't go either. think i may just get reprimanded for piling up my work soon.
Jus have to pray hard that my mum is ok during the period that i am away....
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Unpredictable Life
As I started on the first day of the school holidays, I was welcomed by news of my mother losing her memory. Thank goodness she's still able to recognise all of us, speech is still coherent and limbs are mobile. All she could not remember is things that happened a few days ago and whatever that she has planned for the future. When I rushed to the A&E in CGH to meet up with my dad, I just patted her on the shoulder and stroked her hand.
She just turned and looked at me and asked, "Aren't you teaching today?" I replied, "It's the start of the school holidays and I just went for supplementary class today." 5 minutes later, she asked again, "Not teaching today?" This question went on for about 8 times every 5 - 10 minutes. Her next question was what day it was. She asked about 8 times every 10 - 15 minutes. Her retention of memory is not there. We don't know what's the actual cause of this loss of memory. Throughout the few hours when we were waiting to see the doctor in the A&E as well as wait for a bed space, she kept telling us that she could not remember what had happened last two days and didn't even remember going to bed the night before.
Mummy has always been reasonably active. She reads alot and even does crossword puzzles at home. Every now and then, she thinks of new recipes and tries them out to feed my dad and all of us when we go back for family gatherings. She goes out with friends for lunch, tea and shopping as well.
We were wondering whether the charity show screened the night before had any impact on her before she went to bed. Throughout the show, my dad said that she didn't cry out loud and they completed the whole show together. The next morning when she got up, my dad found her sitting and staring into space and when she went out to the living room and kitchen, she started asking my dad why there were sooo many biscuits, nuts around. She even asked him who bought them.
I was trying to keep my sanity. I was worried for my mum and didn't know how I can help her. On the other hand, I had to look after Allyson and take her back from school. By 7pm, I suddenly felt soo tired and very emotional. Allyson was rather active and refused to lie still while i was wiping her. It took me half hour to settle her. After feeding her porridge, I could not stop crying. Maybe it's the stress knowing that there's lots of work waiting for me in school, my mum's condition and moreover, I was alone at home. Jasper had to attend classes till 8.30pm. I sms my good friend Jenny and asked if she could come over to accompany us.
I just couldn't take it any more. It happened so many times. Whenever I have time to stay back in school to complete work, something is bound to happen. WHY?!? I'm trying very hard to be more optimistic and keep an open mind or else I may just slip into depression.
She just turned and looked at me and asked, "Aren't you teaching today?" I replied, "It's the start of the school holidays and I just went for supplementary class today." 5 minutes later, she asked again, "Not teaching today?" This question went on for about 8 times every 5 - 10 minutes. Her next question was what day it was. She asked about 8 times every 10 - 15 minutes. Her retention of memory is not there. We don't know what's the actual cause of this loss of memory. Throughout the few hours when we were waiting to see the doctor in the A&E as well as wait for a bed space, she kept telling us that she could not remember what had happened last two days and didn't even remember going to bed the night before.
Mummy has always been reasonably active. She reads alot and even does crossword puzzles at home. Every now and then, she thinks of new recipes and tries them out to feed my dad and all of us when we go back for family gatherings. She goes out with friends for lunch, tea and shopping as well.
We were wondering whether the charity show screened the night before had any impact on her before she went to bed. Throughout the show, my dad said that she didn't cry out loud and they completed the whole show together. The next morning when she got up, my dad found her sitting and staring into space and when she went out to the living room and kitchen, she started asking my dad why there were sooo many biscuits, nuts around. She even asked him who bought them.
I was trying to keep my sanity. I was worried for my mum and didn't know how I can help her. On the other hand, I had to look after Allyson and take her back from school. By 7pm, I suddenly felt soo tired and very emotional. Allyson was rather active and refused to lie still while i was wiping her. It took me half hour to settle her. After feeding her porridge, I could not stop crying. Maybe it's the stress knowing that there's lots of work waiting for me in school, my mum's condition and moreover, I was alone at home. Jasper had to attend classes till 8.30pm. I sms my good friend Jenny and asked if she could come over to accompany us.
I just couldn't take it any more. It happened so many times. Whenever I have time to stay back in school to complete work, something is bound to happen. WHY?!? I'm trying very hard to be more optimistic and keep an open mind or else I may just slip into depression.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Month of May
May is a happy and stressful month. Very confusing isn't it? It is happy becos the following month is June and it will be vacation time for me hahahha. Stressfull cos it's the pupils' exams and there's lots to do and settle before we can really take a break. We really need that break.
These days, the feeling of changing my job is back again. This time, it's even stronger than the last time. There's been so much hype about private tutors and tuition centres and we see parents thanking the tutors and teachers in the tuition centres when their children did well in the exams. So what's the value of a teacher now? Seriously, in my own opinion, I feel that we have no more value. There's no respect from the public especially those parents. I was talking to a fellow colleague and she used the word 'degeneration'. You look at the way youngsters behave these days and even young kids' behaviour, it's seriously appalling.
Sometimes I wonder, did parents ever wonder why their kid could excel with tutors and teachers in the tuition centre? It's becos of the ratio for goodness sake. Their ratio is either 1:1 or maybe at most 1:20. Usually, tuition centres tend to have smaller groups. I wish I could have that in my classroom.
In an ordinary classroom in a school, we are facing on the average 37 - 40 pupils. These pupils are of mixed abilities. I have pupils scoring as high as 70 for maths and as low as below 10. We are also facing a class of students with different behaviours. Many times, we have to address intolerable behaviour in class immediately. We do not have any teacher assistants like what other countries have. We handle admin work, nannying job, teaching job, sometimes even a little counselling job. If there's only one school counsellor in a school serving 2000 pupils, I'm sure we can't send every child who needs a listening ear to the counsellor.
I was joking with a colleague that if any parent in my class were to pay me $3k a month teaching their child only, I seriously don't mind taking up and offer and really showing them results.
Just two weeks ago, I distributed the exam results to my pupils. Guess what?!? Those who failed badly could actually laugh it off and even exclaimed loudly 'hey! I failed!!'. Some critics may comment that it's a way for them to let off some steam as Singapore is a very stressful country always trying to climb up the ladder. Maybe they are just destressing themselves.
My question is this, where is the stress when very little effort has been put into daily work and revision.
As for the parents, just yesterday, I heard from a fellow colleague from another school that a parent actually wrote a very hurtful comment when he send out consent forms to have some of his pupils back next week just for about 2 hours over two days. The reason being these pupils are rather weak in maths and he was trying to revise past topics so as to prepare them for the new term. This is the hurtful comment (may not be in exact words) -- ' the lessons are not necessary if the teacher has been effective during the whole term'. When I heard that, I really flipped. I just felt like throwing a gunny sack over this parent's head and bashing him up. Yes, it's a father who wrote this comment. I guess it's probably a parent who thinks that his child is sooooooo smart that he doesn't need any extra lessons. What's wrong with this parent. You think we like to have extra lessons with your child so much?!?! Hey, it's our holidays. We can just not bother but becos of our professionalism. We have a responsibility towards each child's well being and results.
Really, all these years of teaching, the kids as well as their parents are getting from bad to worse. I wonder what kind of a society is my child living in and how she will turn out to be in the future.
I'm trying to get another job. away from all these nonsensical pupils and parents. It may be a 8am - 5pm office job but at least, I don't have to take back any stuff to mull over it. Everyday, I rush like crazy in school trying to meet datelines, plan work for pupils and thinking how to improve their results as well as plan for school events. When we get home, it's marking and more marking. For people like me with no maid, no parents or in laws staying with me and I have a child is really very trying. My race starts from 4.30am...the time that I start waking up and preparing for the day. Sometimes, I don't get any sleep in the afternoon at all as I'm slogging my guts out in school.
I was just telling Jasper last night that if I concentrate on my work, I will not have any time to spend with allyson. If I spend time with allyson, I neglect my work.
I think I've reached the point of hating my job. Was asking my peers in the corporate world if they have any jobs for me. A good friend asked me what do I want to do. I was stumped. I'm not sure if I've been in teaching for a while that I just lost that confidence to go into a corporate world. I didn't join teaching straight after my graduation. I worked as a temp in a few big organisations as well as a government agency. Though there was a lot to do but once it's time to leave the office, I leave everything behind. I did not need to take anything away with me to mull over it at home. That's what I want.
Teaching is no longer noble when we are being 'trampled' by these sickening people. I just feel like telling these parents out there to just take their children out for home schooling if they feel that teachers like us are not very effective in our teaching.
Let's hope that I would be able to get a decent job matching my present pay soon.....
ending on a happy note : I'm soooooooooo looking forward to my holidays!!!!! hahahahah :)))
These days, the feeling of changing my job is back again. This time, it's even stronger than the last time. There's been so much hype about private tutors and tuition centres and we see parents thanking the tutors and teachers in the tuition centres when their children did well in the exams. So what's the value of a teacher now? Seriously, in my own opinion, I feel that we have no more value. There's no respect from the public especially those parents. I was talking to a fellow colleague and she used the word 'degeneration'. You look at the way youngsters behave these days and even young kids' behaviour, it's seriously appalling.
Sometimes I wonder, did parents ever wonder why their kid could excel with tutors and teachers in the tuition centre? It's becos of the ratio for goodness sake. Their ratio is either 1:1 or maybe at most 1:20. Usually, tuition centres tend to have smaller groups. I wish I could have that in my classroom.
In an ordinary classroom in a school, we are facing on the average 37 - 40 pupils. These pupils are of mixed abilities. I have pupils scoring as high as 70 for maths and as low as below 10. We are also facing a class of students with different behaviours. Many times, we have to address intolerable behaviour in class immediately. We do not have any teacher assistants like what other countries have. We handle admin work, nannying job, teaching job, sometimes even a little counselling job. If there's only one school counsellor in a school serving 2000 pupils, I'm sure we can't send every child who needs a listening ear to the counsellor.
I was joking with a colleague that if any parent in my class were to pay me $3k a month teaching their child only, I seriously don't mind taking up and offer and really showing them results.
Just two weeks ago, I distributed the exam results to my pupils. Guess what?!? Those who failed badly could actually laugh it off and even exclaimed loudly 'hey! I failed!!'. Some critics may comment that it's a way for them to let off some steam as Singapore is a very stressful country always trying to climb up the ladder. Maybe they are just destressing themselves.
My question is this, where is the stress when very little effort has been put into daily work and revision.
As for the parents, just yesterday, I heard from a fellow colleague from another school that a parent actually wrote a very hurtful comment when he send out consent forms to have some of his pupils back next week just for about 2 hours over two days. The reason being these pupils are rather weak in maths and he was trying to revise past topics so as to prepare them for the new term. This is the hurtful comment (may not be in exact words) -- ' the lessons are not necessary if the teacher has been effective during the whole term'. When I heard that, I really flipped. I just felt like throwing a gunny sack over this parent's head and bashing him up. Yes, it's a father who wrote this comment. I guess it's probably a parent who thinks that his child is sooooooo smart that he doesn't need any extra lessons. What's wrong with this parent. You think we like to have extra lessons with your child so much?!?! Hey, it's our holidays. We can just not bother but becos of our professionalism. We have a responsibility towards each child's well being and results.
Really, all these years of teaching, the kids as well as their parents are getting from bad to worse. I wonder what kind of a society is my child living in and how she will turn out to be in the future.
I'm trying to get another job. away from all these nonsensical pupils and parents. It may be a 8am - 5pm office job but at least, I don't have to take back any stuff to mull over it. Everyday, I rush like crazy in school trying to meet datelines, plan work for pupils and thinking how to improve their results as well as plan for school events. When we get home, it's marking and more marking. For people like me with no maid, no parents or in laws staying with me and I have a child is really very trying. My race starts from 4.30am...the time that I start waking up and preparing for the day. Sometimes, I don't get any sleep in the afternoon at all as I'm slogging my guts out in school.
I was just telling Jasper last night that if I concentrate on my work, I will not have any time to spend with allyson. If I spend time with allyson, I neglect my work.
I think I've reached the point of hating my job. Was asking my peers in the corporate world if they have any jobs for me. A good friend asked me what do I want to do. I was stumped. I'm not sure if I've been in teaching for a while that I just lost that confidence to go into a corporate world. I didn't join teaching straight after my graduation. I worked as a temp in a few big organisations as well as a government agency. Though there was a lot to do but once it's time to leave the office, I leave everything behind. I did not need to take anything away with me to mull over it at home. That's what I want.
Teaching is no longer noble when we are being 'trampled' by these sickening people. I just feel like telling these parents out there to just take their children out for home schooling if they feel that teachers like us are not very effective in our teaching.
Let's hope that I would be able to get a decent job matching my present pay soon.....
ending on a happy note : I'm soooooooooo looking forward to my holidays!!!!! hahahahah :)))
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