Life...

Just read two good friends' blogs and can't help thinking through what they had posted. One thought about whether there's enough money in CPF for our old age and the other commented about how people should help one another. I sat on my bed wondering about money too. Every now and then, I check my finances to see if it would be advisable for me to take some months of no-pay leave next year. Having a child and keeping my job at the same time is not a problem. It's not a big problem even if my second child comes along. Keeping my job is the crucial thing.

I thought of leaving my job and give tuition to supplement income in the household but I realised that the CPF part is very crucial. I need that to pay my housing loan. If I were to do private tuition, I have to make sure that I earn even more than what I'm taking home now to contribute my share as well as employer's share of CPF into my account. Thus the question of whether it will be enough for old age is swimming in my head.

In all my six years of teaching, it was the first time I had a student spewing the F word at me on Monday. This student of mine have some emotional and behavioral problems which can be rather uncontrollable. I'm not sure if it's just my luck but every year, I do get some interesting pupils in my class. It seems that as the years go by, the kind of pupil becomes worse. Everyday when I go to school and go to my class, I would see this boy. I felt extremely tired as this boy just comes to school to waste time. If some provocation takes place, he would bang tables, throw things and even throw tables and chairs. I try my best not to go near him and ignore him as much. He refused to do work and just wanna play with the classmates. The classmates know about his condition and just goes along trying very hard not to trigger any matter that will cause him to flare up. Once he starts to flare up, the vulgar language comes on automatically.

It dawned on me that I must teach my own children well. Home background is very important in the course growing up. Childhood is very important. The type of childhood we go through may just determine the type of character we will build up as we grow up. I may not be able to give my child all the luxuries in life but I must be very sure to teach the correct values. and give my child a happy childhood. It may not be easy at all but I'm sure Jasper and I will try our very best.

I've been getting headaches rather often these days. Wonder if it's cos of the heat or is it becos there's alot on my mind which needs my attention hahaha. Hope the headaches will go away.

PS : I'm about 3 months pregnant with my second child now. I thank the heavens for blessing me with another child. I can assure all my friends and family that this child is definitely not an accident haha. Jasper and I just felt that it would be nice to have both our children grow up together and while we still have the energy to run after them. We do not wish to wait too long for a second child. I agree that when I broke the news to my family, my mother was totally shocked while my dad and in laws were rather happy about it hahaha. I assured my mother that I would take good care of myself and make sure that I let her know if I like to eat anything or drink any soup to build up my health.

I pray that everything will go well for me and my unborn child and of cos may all the blessings fall upon Jasper, Allyson, Daddy, Mummy, Papa, Mama, Brother, Sis-in-law, Sammi and sis-in-law as well as all my friends.

Pre Children's Day

Children's Day coming soon and it's time for me to get ready all the presents for my students in class. Every year, I would give them something useful and some food. I would get party packs to pack the things for them. Though they may be naughty and irritating sometimes, when it comes to presents, they become more adorable on this one day in the year.

I miss getting children's day presents hahahha. Guess I've long passed that age nearly 20 years ago hahahah. This year, my colleagues are performing for the children. Last year, many teachers were not happy that there was no performance for the children as the organiser thought that it would be good to show the children how privileged they are to live in
Singapore compared to other children in other countries or even in Singapore itself. It turned out that the colleagues were not happy that they can't perform. Thus this year, the same organiser decided to open up to the teachers to have them choose what they want to perform so long as it's healthy :)

One day last week, I was doing duty during recess. I was supposed to make sure that the children are safe in the field as they play. As I sat staring at the field, I just felt a great disgust..asking myself over and over again whether this is the life I want to be in for the rest of my years. I'm 29 this year but somehow just can't help feeling that I should do something better outside? OR I should just change an environment to work in. I suddenly didn't know if I'm still suited to be in the teaching profession. What can I do if I don't continue to teach? Am I just tired over the whole education system, the way schools are run, kids' attitude or am I just tired of working and want to stop work for a while. I guess, I need to consider carefully...

Allyson is able to turn over on her own now and chuckles happily whenever we beat her bums hahaha. Some nights when she's with my in laws, I miss her so much that I would cry to myself. Guess this is the kind of feeling a mother has :) When she was ill, I cried quite a bit as I blame myself for not giving her enough breast milk to build up her immunity. She's only 5 months and she already has running nose and cough twice. Family members told me that it could also be because she's in infant care.

Germs tend to spread more as the only time the infant care centre doesn't take in the child is when the child is down with fever or symptoms of chicken pox or hand foot mouth disease. Some common running nose and cough, as parents, we can sign a form to tell the teachers to administer medicine to the child. Thus when Allyson caught the flu bug the second time, I have the suddenly urge to resign and take care of her full time. It may be a rash decision...on the other hand, after calculating finances, it's not too advisable to resign. Then I'm contemplating getting a maid but I need to convince my mother to stay at home with a maid. *sigh*

I'm really worried that she may catch the flu bug again. Seeing her not having any energy to even smile and seeing her mucus drip from her nose really breaks my heart. At this age, I can only feed her liquids thus I bought a bottle of Del Rosa which is full of vitamin C to give her some maybe once a week or every 3-4 days. I hope this can help to give her more immunity against the germs...

tomorrow's the start of a working week. I pray that all of us going back to work will have a smooth and peaceful week ahead.

Monday night

Monday nights have been quite the same as any other nights for me. I guess cos I'm in a routine whereby I start putting my girl to bed between 8pm - 9pm. I will play with her, sing to her, pat her and by the time i may be snoring away, she's still wide awake give me her toothless grin hahahah : ) Thus it's quite the same every night, therefore, monday nights has not much effect on me. Tonight's a little different, her doting grandfather missed her so much after sending her to the child care centre this morning that he came over to my place at about 8.15pm to take her home and spend the night. It's a pretty good idea cos I can have some private time on my own too to finish up work or just hang around reading friends' blogs and update mine. At the same time, they need not get up too early tomorrow morning. It's like killing two birds with one stone.

My quiet mundane night has changed after reading my friends' blogs. It's always heartening and encouraging to read comments which my friends and hubby left in my blog. I can't get enough advice from my friend arwen who never fails to amaze me in many ways since our school days.
My other friend Ting is always surprising me with her entries on her blogs. I exceptionally felt rejuvenated and motivated after watching 'THE HAKA' on the U-tube which she posted on her blog. These are the little things which I look forward to as a form of destress for myself.
The comments friends and hubby left me always pose as a source of strength for me to look at like in a more optimistic way. Not forgetting the beautiful smile my daughter gives when I play with her or simply when I call her name. I guess all these are simply priceless.

Well, I'm not stressed out from taking care of my lovely daughter but i'm rather stressed out from work. Sometimes, stressed out from the way some 'big shot' (meaning those in the good books of .......) colleagues look at me or talk to me when I inform or ask them something. I know there are many kinds of people in this world and some are just around to irritate us. I just hates it when they irritate me on a Monday morning. Really don't like the feeling.

I pray that my friends kimberly, arwen and ting will be able to get enough rest from all the things that they had to do.
I pray that I will be able to get along well with my marking colleagues and superiors. I've been sent to mark psle composition and situational writing this year. This is my third year. I had a break last year and did some 'recording of marks' job cos of my pregnancy. This year, I had no excuse to get a lighter load. I had a very bad experience the previous year which resulted in me going home to cry every night. I just can't tolerate the vast discrepancies between fellow colleagues (from other schools so different expectations) and my marking. My life was utterly miserable there. When I knew that I had to go to the same place again, I just trembled. Therefore, I'm really praying very hard that I will keep my sanity during the 4 days of marking.

I pray that my friends and every family member will be blessed with all the goodness in life.

Sunday....

Today's quite a breezy and cloudy day but dunno why I experienced a very painful headache that's throbbing in my head. It started about 12 plus on my way from my in laws' home to take my daughter back. Must give my in laws some private time to go out and enjoy too. They have been very nice to take care of my girl from Friday night to Saturday night and tonight, she's going back to her grandparents' home so that my in laws need not get up soo early on Monday morning.

We usually take our girl to my in laws place as early as 6.15am. Really can be quite tough for my mum in law especially who has to wake up to boil water for my girl so that milk can be made when she reaches there. My father in law will take my girl to the child care centre which opens at 7pm. Seriously, in my job, it's really not too possible to drop my girl off at the centre before going to school. I may be grossly late especially the teachers at the centre need to take temperature and check baby's hand, feet and mouth to make sure everything's normal before I can go off. My hubby is in the same job as me too ahhaha. Thank goodness my father in law works later...*phew* if not I guess I may just have to leave my job and be a housewife :))
Quite a pretty good idea for me but Jasper and I have discussed countless times that it's really not too possible at least for these 5 years. We need to really build up our finances so well that money won't be a problem....

Recently, I just heard a friend saying her hubby sponsored her for a spa treatment and it cost about $1k. It was a rather sweet gesture of him to do that. I always believe that hubbys should give their wives a little surprises here and there or sponsor some things here and there to make them every happier. Of cos, these are just material stuff which seriously, any working woman is able to afford it. What kind of made me change a little of my impression of this friend is what she said next. She actually mentioned how lucky she was to have such a husband and wondered what did she ever do to deserve all these goodness from him.....

As her friends, we all know how lucky she is since the day she was born. Financially, she need not worry about a single thing. After she got married, her hubby is also earning sufficiently well to buy nearly anything that she wants. Did I mention that her hubby is really very good kind. The kind that really did not quarrel with her.....They have dined in very expensive restaurants, slept on very expensive bedsheet which costs a few hundreds. Moreover, the size of the diamond ring that her hubby gave to her would be something that not many hubbys are able to afford in nearly 10 years hahaha.

I don't deny that when I first knew her, I was really very happy for her that she has found such a good husband who is willing to give her everything. As time goes by, some things that she said makes me feel worried for her. Maybe some of you may say that I'm just jealous cos I don't have her kind of wealth or that my hubby is not able to give me what she has received from hers. Maybe I am, Maybe I'm not hahahah.
Well, seriously, from the bottom of my heart, the day I chose my hubby, I know he is not able to give me all that was given to my friend at least not during these few years. I chose him more for his character and his strong family values.

I can't help but remembered what both my grandmothers and later my mother and my mother in law had told me. Marriage is supposed to be for life. Throughout the marriage, we may go through ups and downs. How good our marriage is depends on whether we are able to grow old with each other and to quote my friend arwen..'to be able to make kaya toast' for our partner till the day either of us leave this world. Material things can be given as long as we can afford it. Sometimes, we wonder if it's necessary to buy things that are sooo expensive. I guess people who have never gone through poverty will never feel how it would be like to save whatever we can and forgo our wants. We need to concentrate on our needs. To me, a bedsheet that's about $50 is alot for me hahahah I rather save some $ for my daughter hahhah

Thursday...

I finally finished my work review and I'm quite stoned. Didn't get much sleep last night..had dreams throughout the whole night *sigh* Was like a zombie today hahhaha.
Suddenly realised that I bought sooo many books in the last few years. My mummy was clearing my room with all the cupboards and she found soo many books that I had to go and check whether I want it. My parents are shifting to another place and they are soo busy. As children, we try to help here and there too :)

Tomorrow's PSLE Listening Comprehension examination. I'm posted to a nearby school so no need to wake up too early. For PSLE marking in a few weeks' time, I had to do something which I don't really like. Not sure if I can do it well but pray hard that all those whom I'm working with are kind and understanding. During this period, marking is very stressful. Must drink more essence of chicken to keep my alertness up.

Weekend is approaching but somehow i'm not too excited about it. I've had quite bad experiences during the last few weekends ...

Beginning of the week

Hmmm.. just read arwen's post on her blog about marriage and companion. Indeed, everything's true about what she had posted. A marriage is also not easy to maintain. Many times, we thought that love alone can conquer everything else. Not just love alone but sometimes, a little change in our own character. I always remembered what my mother said. She said this, 'Marriage is for life. Unless the husband or wife turns out to be some crazy person or some abuser, marriage should be maintained till the day both are buried in the soil.' I find that it makes good sense. BEing in a marriage is not just between two beings. It involves family members and sometimes even extended family members. You may not fully understand your partner's character, habits and attitude towards things before marriage but everything is revealed in the marriage hahaha!

Thus how do we go about handling our partner in the end. Some choose to get out of the whole thing while others choose to see how they can make things better. After all, why did the marriage take place in the beginning. There must be love and liking for each other's ways of living. Thus, before we take a rash action to end a marriage, two beings must sit down and think why did they come together in the first place.
All the best to my friend who wants to make kaya bread for her companion. I'm sure you will be able to find one really good companion :)
I believe it will not just be only kaya bread that she will be making for her companion.

After the birth of my first child, I did think of having another child soon. Well, i'm sure my friends will be duly informed if i'm pregnant again hahahhah
Hmmm actually I'm aiming for 4 kids...hmm wonder if i can manage hahaha not just mentally, physically but definitely financially hahah. There are many things to think about. With four kids, means Jasper gotta change to a bigger car which in turn goes back to the financial factor. Well, shall see how my life goes now.

It's a rather busy night for me. After I log out of my blog, I need to bury my head into writing my work review. Somehow, I really don't know what to write as I've kind of stopped working since end April when I gave birth to my girl. The 3 months maternity leave plus subsequently, a week of child care leave (my girl was down with flu) and followed tightly by my conjunctivities. I kind of have lost touch with my work. I seriously don't know how to face my Reporting Officer hahah I didn't even attend external courses so how am I going to evaluate on my development?!
Sometimes, I felt that it's quite interesting that in my job, we have to go through out work review twice a year and on top of that, we have to type out in a summarised version what we had achieved in the year on another format other than the work review format that we are already doing....

Many things are swimming around my head now. Have to go update my work review and see what else 1 can squeeze out of my head. Guess I would be totally knocked out in about an hour....

End of Holidays

Today's the end of the Sept hols. Seriously, I didn't enjoy this holidays at all. Just when I thought I can enjoy the weekend b4 school starts, I was down with vomitting, constipation and slight diarrhoea yesterday. I was at Vivo city with my in laws, hubby and baby. We had dinner at the food court and just 5 minutes after I got up to proceed to Gloria Jeans for drinks, I wanted to vomit. Threw up everything I had for dinner. Thought everything was ok after throwing up, barely 5 minutes again, I went to the toilet and sat there for 15 min. My goodness!! my tummy felt like it was going to burst anytime....sigh.... When we got home about 10am, I was sooo weak that I had to tell my hubby to pull me up to brush my teeth... Wonder what's going on with me. I'm praying that everything will go well once school starts tomorrow.

I'm sure my friend arwen is going to learn her Canon in D very well hehehe I'm looking forward to you playing for us to listen :))
Hmmm, just got a comment on my blog from Kimberly. Wonder if she's another good friend who knows Ting and Arwen as well? ;)

It's Term 4 starting from tomorrow and it's going to be another mad rush for the next 10 weeks with much deadlines and teaching to be carried out before we can enjoy the year-end holidays.
I'm really looking forward to that.

Just came back from Ikea. was there with in laws for dinner. The whole dining place was sooo packed that a few of us had to stand at different locations to wait for tables. Coincidentally, I met an old friend whom I last saw during my wedding. Ting knows this friend too ;) She even sat together with him at my wedding. He looked soo tired. I guess we all do become very tired as the years go by especially for some of us with kids to look after. My day usually ends with me sleeping together with my daughter hahah Can't bring myself to do any more things after patting her to sleep. Sometimes, I manage to get up and have some dessert with Jasper, spending quality time with each other :)

This afternoon, I had lunch at my parents' place. My dad bought ingredients to make chicken soup for me and bought a pomfret (costs $10) for me to eat *yum yum* Really miss my parents' cooking. They make wonderful soups which taste totally different from anywhere else outside. It's very clear and delicious. I never really like to drink chicken soup outside. The steamed pomfret was great, I kind of finished up nearly 3/4 of the fish ahhaha my hubby helped me with the other 1/4.

dunno why as I move on in my years, I tend to miss my parents very much hoping that they would be with me for as long as i live. I guess my sentiments grew after my grandma passed away on 15 July this year. Seeing the emotions which my dad displayed during the few days of wake, made me realise how close parents are to their children. My dad has always been a very cool and stern kind of man. He doesn't talk a lot but he cares alot about our well-being. The words he said on the day of Grandma's funeral was really heart wrenching. He expressed the deepest feelings of a mother to her children. That day, I saw my father in a different light. Was telling Jasper that, no matter how strong a man is, he will break down one day when his own parent passes away. Thus, we hope to love, treasure and give our parents more of our time as much as we can. I don't like to feeling of losing my parents.......Frankly, I'm really afraid of losing them....Daddy n Mummy, brother and I love you both very much.

Mid - Week

It's the middle of the week and here I am typing this on my bed with my girl sleeping soundly beside me. It's good that she can sleep more at home cos she's always sooo busy at the infant care centre. Sometimes, when she's there for about 7 hours, she slept only about 75 - 80 minutes. My hubby Jasper and I gathered that she's very distracted with what her peers are doing. Wonder if it's becos one of us is very distracted sometimes. I think I'm the one hmmm my hubby has always been the extremely focused kind of man. Once he sets out to do something, he would stay on track and complete it.

Just went for my eye check up on Tuesday and the eye doctor Mel told me that everything's good. I just need to put some normal eyedrops which she prescribed and to stop the previous ones. The redness has really gone off a great deal. I'm soooooo happy that I could take care of Allyson once again. I still do not dare to put my face too near her so I give her lots of finger kisses daily hehehe. I guess I wanna let the redness go off completely before I really put my face close to her. Gotta go back for another check up at TTSH in 3 weeks to let Mel see that I've totally recovered.

Allyson is slowly learning to keep her head upright when we carry her and she's always excited to see the world instead of the usual ceiling view when we carried her for the past few months.

Was looking through Ting's blog about the carebear show she went to. It made me realise that kids these days grew up with different toys. When I talk to my pupils in school, they tell me about HABBO, computer games and more computer webpages. Suddenly realised time has really changed. My friends and I didn't have much luxury owning a computer at home to be playing computer games. I believe most of us grew up with dolls, soft toys and toy cars.

I remembered my dad gave me a very big n soft teddy bear whom we name it MAMA BEAR. I still have it with me till now and my niece is playing with MAMA BEAR daily, making tea for her to drink or just teaching her to sit properly hahaha. My niece is 3 years old and she's putting what she learnt in preschool to good use at home *wink*
Another set of dolls which I named them BOY BOY AND GIRL GIRL is very much adored by my parents. We would buy clothing for them to wear. I'm sure friends who has gone to my parents' home would remember my precious dolls. They are quite similar to the ICE CREAM DOLLS in the past. My mum even told us never to give them away even till the day she's no longer around.

These days, I buy educational toys for my daughter. Toys that has music, reading and colour stimulation. The only stuff toy my girl has is a little elmo which we named it her guardian angel. I'm moving on to buying word and picture cards for her. She gets distracted easily so the cards must be very interesting :) These days, she's beginning to try to listen to at least half a story before she gets distracted.

I'm very proud of my friend Diane, she has been learning so many things in the past few years. I truly admire her determination and energy to learn all the things.
Hey Diane, I don't mind you playing at my daughter's b'day? Hmmmm how long must I book you in advance?