One word --> TOLERATE TOLERATE TOLERATE....no matter what, so long as it's not violence, a woman has to tolerate cos she wants to keep her family together. I don't quite understand this point before I was married. After I got married, I realised the truth in this word.
There's this phrase in chinese which means that tolerance breeds harmony. There must be harmony in the house to create a good environment for the kids to grow. It's horried for a child to go home to a quarrelsome home.
I've had students who hates to go home and would rather stay in school to accompany me or even asked me to stay with them so they have an excuse not to go home. Of cos, on the other hand, I've students who love to go home cos they have a loving and warm family waiting for them. One day, I visited a student who had not been attending school frequently. I went to pass him some stuff. I was totally affected by the living conditions this child lives in -- smelly, small, packed with people.
After I left the place, I told Jasper that both of us have to work really hard and save lots so as to give our own children a clean, loving and warm environment. We may not be earning the millions or giving our children all the branded stuff. I won't want my children to loiter outside because they hate to go back to a dirty and smelly home. I want my children to look forward to coming home to us with warmth and food and activities waiting for them.
I guess I'm influenced by my parents. My father has always said that no matter how poor he is, he would give us the best. Now as a parent, I fully understood what he meant. Looking at Allyson everyday now, though she may be naughty at times, we love her too much to even think of depriving her of love and warmth of family life.
I look forward to the day that I can teach her to bake and cook :))
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
All about me
I've reached the stage where I have not much feelings for what I do. Everything to me is a routine. I go to work, I go home, I go to work, I go home. Sometimes, I try to inject some excitement into my life such as going to a new eatery or trying out new recipes for Allyson. I'm not sure if I'm getting older and thus have such feelings. When I see some elderly enjoying their old age, it dawned on me that I should treat myself better. Seriously, I don't even know what things excite me these days. Is it the oozing kind of chocolate cake? I guess when Allyson starts to hold a conversation with me, I should be very excited.
I'm working on having my second child. Not sure when he/she will come. Sometimes, I get sooo sick with work that I just want to stay home and devote all my time to my children and family.
I'm changing a new boss next year. Hopefully things will be better and hopefully I shall be more enthusiastic in my job.
I'm trying to clear up some stuff at my work station, hoping to revamp my area hahaha wonder if I should engage an interior designer for it *hmmm* ;p
I'm going to get some in-out trays to make my area neater and throw away all the stuff that I've been keeping since 2004 hahahah. Feel like getting a new arm chair too hehehe
Guess what? I'm going to pick up driving lessons soon. Jasper has been encouraging me all the while. Hopefully I'm able to pass first time or else I would have wasted my money....
I'm working on having my second child. Not sure when he/she will come. Sometimes, I get sooo sick with work that I just want to stay home and devote all my time to my children and family.
I'm changing a new boss next year. Hopefully things will be better and hopefully I shall be more enthusiastic in my job.
I'm trying to clear up some stuff at my work station, hoping to revamp my area hahaha wonder if I should engage an interior designer for it *hmmm* ;p
I'm going to get some in-out trays to make my area neater and throw away all the stuff that I've been keeping since 2004 hahahah. Feel like getting a new arm chair too hehehe
Guess what? I'm going to pick up driving lessons soon. Jasper has been encouraging me all the while. Hopefully I'm able to pass first time or else I would have wasted my money....
Monday, September 29, 2008
Role of a Woman
A woman takes on many roles. A daughter, a wife, a mother, a teacher, a maid, a counsellor, a chef, an artist, a punching bag, etc etc... I pride myself in being the kind of wife that my hubby can take me out as well as stay home to whip up a sumptuous meal. Am I being too ambitious? Anyway, I like cooking and seeing the smiles on my family members when they eat makes me feel good.
We all need many many good vibes in our life so that we will learn to be more optimistic and look at life in a lighter manner.
When a woman gets married, everything about her family becomes the prority. I'm not sure if it's the case for all women but it is definitely for me. I make sure that I take good care of my hubby, my child, my parents, siblings and in laws. I should not have complaints but well, human beings are greedy. They want the best of everything. I want the best of everything. I do get upset when things do not go well. These days, I learn to control my emotions and be more calm no matter what happens. I kept telling myself that tolerance is the best value that I should have. If one is able to tolerate all things, one would have reached the highest level in life.
When we are able to tolerate all nonsensical matters, we are able to learn to solve problems calmly.
It's important to know our role as a woman. We must learn not to cross the line and cause more trouble. *why do I feel that I'm living in the Qing dynasty* :)
We all need many many good vibes in our life so that we will learn to be more optimistic and look at life in a lighter manner.
When a woman gets married, everything about her family becomes the prority. I'm not sure if it's the case for all women but it is definitely for me. I make sure that I take good care of my hubby, my child, my parents, siblings and in laws. I should not have complaints but well, human beings are greedy. They want the best of everything. I want the best of everything. I do get upset when things do not go well. These days, I learn to control my emotions and be more calm no matter what happens. I kept telling myself that tolerance is the best value that I should have. If one is able to tolerate all things, one would have reached the highest level in life.
When we are able to tolerate all nonsensical matters, we are able to learn to solve problems calmly.
It's important to know our role as a woman. We must learn not to cross the line and cause more trouble. *why do I feel that I'm living in the Qing dynasty* :)
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The Human Heart - Conscience
Can't imagine how evil some people can be. They like to run you down when you are at your weakest. They like to defame you in front of the top management. Such characters really ought to be tortured and be given a taste of their own medicine. They do not have the conscience to be kind to people. Of cos, there are different types of people around. Maybe some of these people are just born to be mean and born to torture others. It's really terrible. No wonder there's something called the office politics.
I don't like this kind of life. Why must one resort to unscrupulous means to survive in this world. Maybe I'm just naive. Maybe I'm fated to be a tai tai ahhahaha.
Let's hope these people will learn and be kinder to make this world a better place.
I don't like this kind of life. Why must one resort to unscrupulous means to survive in this world. Maybe I'm just naive. Maybe I'm fated to be a tai tai ahhahaha.
Let's hope these people will learn and be kinder to make this world a better place.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Weary
Getting very sick and tired of people around my workplace. Can't imagine that the top management is not concerned about the results at all. All these people only know how to do last minute work. Really can't stand some people who think they are so good with their work. ARGH!!! really need a change of environment next year but soooo worried that if there is an economy downturn then I would be putting myself in some deep trouble by changing job now.
Guess I just have to go through the motion and just follow the crowd.
Guess I just have to go through the motion and just follow the crowd.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Silence Is Golden
A few days back, a friend rang me up and talked to me for a long long time. The first thing she told me was 'Cindy, you must remember that 'Silence is golden'.' Cos sometimes, the trouble starts from the mouth.
She had some arguments with her hubby and was practically going to break down. It was not a one-time off argument. Everything was accumulated. She mentioned that everyday, she had to listen to all the complaints her hubby had about work, about people, about family. Every little thing, he had to complain and if she were to look bored and doesn't seem to show interest in what he said, he would get angry and start berating her. Even to the extent of him complaining about his family members, it's totally alright for him to do so. But if she were to add comments and make remarks, her hubby would be frustrated. All these years, she had been trying to keep everything to herself for fear if word gets through to her hubby, he will scold her harshly for washing dirty linen in public. Thus, she didn't even dare to tell anyone. I guess, this times, she must be really miserable and upset. I'm glad she called me cos I seriously won't wish to go to her funeral wake.
She had to take a supportive role to listen. But whenever she wanted to tell him about things, he would always interrupt and say about other things. In turn, she just remained more and more quiet. She just gave birth and after the birth of her child, she learnt to be more patient but well, we are human beings. Sometimes, patience is like a rubber band. It can be overly stretched and in the end, it may just snap. Just like the human brain. That explains why we hear of sucidal cases every now and then.
Many times, the aruguments came up becos of a slight comment or it's 90% becos of family members. It's not easy being married I guess. We do not just marry the man/woman. We marry the whole family. I guess as a dutiful daughter-in-law and a wife, we just have to take a supportive role and just keep our mouths close most of the time to prevent any disagreements.
It dawned upon me that verbal abuse can sometimes be even worse than physical abuse. The emotional part of a human being may just overcome everything. Imagine, if this verbal abuse comes at the same time as stress faced at work then I think I may just have to visit my friend at the funeral wake.
I tried telling her to have a good talk with her hubby. She lamented that she tried but many times, her hubby would just brush it off like a joke or just smile/nod and take it that everything is ok. They nearly wanted to divorce that very day but upon thinking of her new-born child, she took a step back and told herself to just tolerate.
After all, the hubby was not too bad. She sat and thought of all the good times they had and from that day onwards, she psychoed herself to always remember the phrase 'silence is golden'. Just talked to her today, she sounded better. Over the last two days, she just learnt to talk lesser. She told herself to be calmer and to focus on other things.
She still maintained - lesser talk, lesser problems.
She had some arguments with her hubby and was practically going to break down. It was not a one-time off argument. Everything was accumulated. She mentioned that everyday, she had to listen to all the complaints her hubby had about work, about people, about family. Every little thing, he had to complain and if she were to look bored and doesn't seem to show interest in what he said, he would get angry and start berating her. Even to the extent of him complaining about his family members, it's totally alright for him to do so. But if she were to add comments and make remarks, her hubby would be frustrated. All these years, she had been trying to keep everything to herself for fear if word gets through to her hubby, he will scold her harshly for washing dirty linen in public. Thus, she didn't even dare to tell anyone. I guess, this times, she must be really miserable and upset. I'm glad she called me cos I seriously won't wish to go to her funeral wake.
She had to take a supportive role to listen. But whenever she wanted to tell him about things, he would always interrupt and say about other things. In turn, she just remained more and more quiet. She just gave birth and after the birth of her child, she learnt to be more patient but well, we are human beings. Sometimes, patience is like a rubber band. It can be overly stretched and in the end, it may just snap. Just like the human brain. That explains why we hear of sucidal cases every now and then.
Many times, the aruguments came up becos of a slight comment or it's 90% becos of family members. It's not easy being married I guess. We do not just marry the man/woman. We marry the whole family. I guess as a dutiful daughter-in-law and a wife, we just have to take a supportive role and just keep our mouths close most of the time to prevent any disagreements.
It dawned upon me that verbal abuse can sometimes be even worse than physical abuse. The emotional part of a human being may just overcome everything. Imagine, if this verbal abuse comes at the same time as stress faced at work then I think I may just have to visit my friend at the funeral wake.
I tried telling her to have a good talk with her hubby. She lamented that she tried but many times, her hubby would just brush it off like a joke or just smile/nod and take it that everything is ok. They nearly wanted to divorce that very day but upon thinking of her new-born child, she took a step back and told herself to just tolerate.
After all, the hubby was not too bad. She sat and thought of all the good times they had and from that day onwards, she psychoed herself to always remember the phrase 'silence is golden'. Just talked to her today, she sounded better. Over the last two days, she just learnt to talk lesser. She told herself to be calmer and to focus on other things.
She still maintained - lesser talk, lesser problems.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Family / Kinship
Sometimes, I wonder what exactly does the word family mean? To some people, family probably only means to share the good times and despise the bad times. I'm not sure if everyone else feels the same.
I was brought up in a family where my brother and I were taught to protect and take care of each other. Just last week, my mother told me that I've only got one brother and if they were to pass on, we should take good care of each other and look out for each other. My brother and I are quite close. Whenever anything happens, we keep each other in the loop. Just two weeks ago when I was warded, my brother visited me twice. Once on his own and another time with my sis-in-law and niece. Whenever anything happens in the family, be it monetary or just support, we really take care of each other. When I had bleeding while expecting Allyson, I was soo upset. While waiting for Jasper to drive the car up to the porch, I called my brother and after that, he called a few times to make sure I was alright.
From young, my parents, my brother and I never quarrelled over money. To my parents, as long as we have enough to spend and lead a simple life, money should not be a big issue and the cause of quarrels in the family. I believe it's not the same for other parents. Some parents tend to see money in a very very big way. When their children are late in transferring a monthly allowance, they haunt their children like some loansharks. They can't even be bothered to ask politely or check if their children are sufficient themselves. What's most upsetting is if these parents are working themselves, then it dawned on us why they are sooooo uptight over money not being transferred on time when they have a steady stream of income coming in every month. It's ok for outsiders not to understand what their children are going through but these are parents!! If these parents can't even understand their own children's difficulties, then what does the word FAMILY mean at all??? Is it worth it to fall out with their own children just becos of money?!?? Isn't there any other things that are worth considering besides MONEY MONEY all the time!??!
It really breaks one's heart sometimes to hear such stories. Don't these parents ever consider that their children have their own families to feed. Given the rising costs in Singapore these days and the salary not being too high to meet these rising costs, can't these parents be more understanding?? I think these parents are better off being LOANSHARKS then being parents. If they are soooooo hard up for money, then they should not have gotten married at all and just go earn whatever money they want till the day they are being laid in the coffin!!! *ANGER*
I realised that my parents are very understanding. They have never expected us to feed them or transfer money to them. We give a monthly allowance every month to my mother and becos my dad is working, we only give him extras when we get bonus or during his birthdays. Of cos, mum gets part of our bonus and angpows as well :)) Whenever we need their help to look after Allyson, they agree wholeheartedly and in turn ask if she needs to eat anything so they can go to the market and buy them fresh. I felt very very touched. My parents don't talk much but when it comes to a time when we need their help, they try their very best. My mum kept telling me that one of her regrets is not able to look after Allyson on her own. My mother is the panicky sort so it's not wise to leave her with a child who can't articulate what she wants till much later. Moreover, she doesn't have the experience to look after young children. She doesn't mind to look after when Allyson turns 3-4 years old and is able to be quite independent.
Given the rising costs, I'm looking at ways and means to cut cost and save more money. I intend to take up one or two tuition assignments and add some extra money to our household income.
Wish me luck!!! :))
I was brought up in a family where my brother and I were taught to protect and take care of each other. Just last week, my mother told me that I've only got one brother and if they were to pass on, we should take good care of each other and look out for each other. My brother and I are quite close. Whenever anything happens, we keep each other in the loop. Just two weeks ago when I was warded, my brother visited me twice. Once on his own and another time with my sis-in-law and niece. Whenever anything happens in the family, be it monetary or just support, we really take care of each other. When I had bleeding while expecting Allyson, I was soo upset. While waiting for Jasper to drive the car up to the porch, I called my brother and after that, he called a few times to make sure I was alright.
From young, my parents, my brother and I never quarrelled over money. To my parents, as long as we have enough to spend and lead a simple life, money should not be a big issue and the cause of quarrels in the family. I believe it's not the same for other parents. Some parents tend to see money in a very very big way. When their children are late in transferring a monthly allowance, they haunt their children like some loansharks. They can't even be bothered to ask politely or check if their children are sufficient themselves. What's most upsetting is if these parents are working themselves, then it dawned on us why they are sooooo uptight over money not being transferred on time when they have a steady stream of income coming in every month. It's ok for outsiders not to understand what their children are going through but these are parents!! If these parents can't even understand their own children's difficulties, then what does the word FAMILY mean at all??? Is it worth it to fall out with their own children just becos of money?!?? Isn't there any other things that are worth considering besides MONEY MONEY all the time!??!
It really breaks one's heart sometimes to hear such stories. Don't these parents ever consider that their children have their own families to feed. Given the rising costs in Singapore these days and the salary not being too high to meet these rising costs, can't these parents be more understanding?? I think these parents are better off being LOANSHARKS then being parents. If they are soooooo hard up for money, then they should not have gotten married at all and just go earn whatever money they want till the day they are being laid in the coffin!!! *ANGER*
I realised that my parents are very understanding. They have never expected us to feed them or transfer money to them. We give a monthly allowance every month to my mother and becos my dad is working, we only give him extras when we get bonus or during his birthdays. Of cos, mum gets part of our bonus and angpows as well :)) Whenever we need their help to look after Allyson, they agree wholeheartedly and in turn ask if she needs to eat anything so they can go to the market and buy them fresh. I felt very very touched. My parents don't talk much but when it comes to a time when we need their help, they try their very best. My mum kept telling me that one of her regrets is not able to look after Allyson on her own. My mother is the panicky sort so it's not wise to leave her with a child who can't articulate what she wants till much later. Moreover, she doesn't have the experience to look after young children. She doesn't mind to look after when Allyson turns 3-4 years old and is able to be quite independent.
Given the rising costs, I'm looking at ways and means to cut cost and save more money. I intend to take up one or two tuition assignments and add some extra money to our household income.
Wish me luck!!! :))
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