Disheartened

I'm truly disappointed in the way things are being done at my workplace. I just had a lesson observation and received critical comments from my boss. These comments are utterly unconstructive and there is not even a positive comment at all. I find the critical comments unreasonable too. I'm really trying to plan a way out of this whole system. Seriously, I love the kids, I love teaching but I hate the way things are being managed in schools. I'm not sure if it's the same at all other schools but I guess even if I were to transfer to another school, I can't guarantee that the same old problem won't surface.

I'm like a creature trapped in a horried place. I'm not able to move becos of financial committments. I have to think of Allyson, my house, my car, my parents etc. I don't think I can settle for a $2k job now as there are just much financial commitments to consider. In addition to that, I guess if I were to leave my job now, I would be deemed as CRAZY during this economy downturn. My parents and in laws may just faint of shock if they know of my intention to quit my job.

From tomorrow onwards, going to school is a drag. I cried so hard to my supervisor after hearing the unreasonable comments from the bigger boss. I've never cried so hard in all my eight years in this job. I felt sooooo unfair and sooooo upset that I just don't have the means to throw my resignation tomorrow at my boss. This is really horried.

My students were sweet. They knew that I had cried when I went back to class after the discussion. They asked me if everything was alright. I hope I can really hang on for their sake or at least for Allyson's sake. I must think of her future.

I pray hard that I can keep my sanity. It's another war when I go back to work tomorrow.