Silence Is Golden

A few days back, a friend rang me up and talked to me for a long long time. The first thing she told me was 'Cindy, you must remember that 'Silence is golden'.' Cos sometimes, the trouble starts from the mouth.

She had some arguments with her hubby and was practically going to break down. It was not a one-time off argument. Everything was accumulated. She mentioned that everyday, she had to listen to all the complaints her hubby had about work, about people, about family. Every little thing, he had to complain and if she were to look bored and doesn't seem to show interest in what he said, he would get angry and start berating her. Even to the extent of him complaining about his family members, it's totally alright for him to do so. But if she were to add comments and make remarks, her hubby would be frustrated. All these years, she had been trying to keep everything to herself for fear if word gets through to her hubby, he will scold her harshly for washing dirty linen in public. Thus, she didn't even dare to tell anyone. I guess, this times, she must be really miserable and upset. I'm glad she called me cos I seriously won't wish to go to her funeral wake.

She had to take a supportive role to listen. But whenever she wanted to tell him about things, he would always interrupt and say about other things. In turn, she just remained more and more quiet. She just gave birth and after the birth of her child, she learnt to be more patient but well, we are human beings. Sometimes, patience is like a rubber band. It can be overly stretched and in the end, it may just snap. Just like the human brain. That explains why we hear of sucidal cases every now and then.

Many times, the aruguments came up becos of a slight comment or it's 90% becos of family members. It's not easy being married I guess. We do not just marry the man/woman. We marry the whole family. I guess as a dutiful daughter-in-law and a wife, we just have to take a supportive role and just keep our mouths close most of the time to prevent any disagreements.

It dawned upon me that verbal abuse can sometimes be even worse than physical abuse. The emotional part of a human being may just overcome everything. Imagine, if this verbal abuse comes at the same time as stress faced at work then I think I may just have to visit my friend at the funeral wake.

I tried telling her to have a good talk with her hubby. She lamented that she tried but many times, her hubby would just brush it off like a joke or just smile/nod and take it that everything is ok. They nearly wanted to divorce that very day but upon thinking of her new-born child, she took a step back and told herself to just tolerate.

After all, the hubby was not too bad. She sat and thought of all the good times they had and from that day onwards, she psychoed herself to always remember the phrase 'silence is golden'. Just talked to her today, she sounded better. Over the last two days, she just learnt to talk lesser. She told herself to be calmer and to focus on other things.

She still maintained - lesser talk, lesser problems.