School just started a week ago and I'm down with flu today. It had been an exciting and heart-stopping week. Our school's preparing for Open House this coming Saturday and somethings just had to cropped up when I thought everything had been planned out well by another team member. Was really disappointed in the way things worked out. Luckily there were other team members to fight the fire or else I might as well put my head on my P's table for it to be chopped. We are expected an importang GOH to come during the Open House too. Maybe that's why I'm feeling more pressure.
The Australia trip was not what I expected it to be. Instead of relaxing and enjoying myself thoroughly during this long awaited mid break, I was laden with much unhappiness. All the unhappiness had dispersed once I arrived in Singapore. This is the first time that I longed to come home after being away for just the first few days. I'm always very reluctant to leave my holiday destination. Hopefully, I'm able to enjoy a really good holiday this coming year-end holidays.
This coming Sunday, we are all going for a picnic at East Coast Park. All thanks to my hubby's suggestion. I'm sooo excited and really looking forward to it. It is going to be a very busy week in school. Hopefully, I'm able to recover from my flu today and meet the challenges this week and enjoy the picnic this Sunday.
Time for me to get back to bed....
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Life's Ups n Downs
After all the worrying, mum got better n is back to her normal self. We all heaved a sigh of relief. Now, she just need to go for a scan to make sure that there is no growth in her head.
This is the 'up'.
The down is, allyson contarcted throat infection. pd gave medical leave till friday. she can't go to school n i can't go either. think i may just get reprimanded for piling up my work soon.
Jus have to pray hard that my mum is ok during the period that i am away....
This is the 'up'.
The down is, allyson contarcted throat infection. pd gave medical leave till friday. she can't go to school n i can't go either. think i may just get reprimanded for piling up my work soon.
Jus have to pray hard that my mum is ok during the period that i am away....
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Unpredictable Life
As I started on the first day of the school holidays, I was welcomed by news of my mother losing her memory. Thank goodness she's still able to recognise all of us, speech is still coherent and limbs are mobile. All she could not remember is things that happened a few days ago and whatever that she has planned for the future. When I rushed to the A&E in CGH to meet up with my dad, I just patted her on the shoulder and stroked her hand.
She just turned and looked at me and asked, "Aren't you teaching today?" I replied, "It's the start of the school holidays and I just went for supplementary class today." 5 minutes later, she asked again, "Not teaching today?" This question went on for about 8 times every 5 - 10 minutes. Her next question was what day it was. She asked about 8 times every 10 - 15 minutes. Her retention of memory is not there. We don't know what's the actual cause of this loss of memory. Throughout the few hours when we were waiting to see the doctor in the A&E as well as wait for a bed space, she kept telling us that she could not remember what had happened last two days and didn't even remember going to bed the night before.
Mummy has always been reasonably active. She reads alot and even does crossword puzzles at home. Every now and then, she thinks of new recipes and tries them out to feed my dad and all of us when we go back for family gatherings. She goes out with friends for lunch, tea and shopping as well.
We were wondering whether the charity show screened the night before had any impact on her before she went to bed. Throughout the show, my dad said that she didn't cry out loud and they completed the whole show together. The next morning when she got up, my dad found her sitting and staring into space and when she went out to the living room and kitchen, she started asking my dad why there were sooo many biscuits, nuts around. She even asked him who bought them.
I was trying to keep my sanity. I was worried for my mum and didn't know how I can help her. On the other hand, I had to look after Allyson and take her back from school. By 7pm, I suddenly felt soo tired and very emotional. Allyson was rather active and refused to lie still while i was wiping her. It took me half hour to settle her. After feeding her porridge, I could not stop crying. Maybe it's the stress knowing that there's lots of work waiting for me in school, my mum's condition and moreover, I was alone at home. Jasper had to attend classes till 8.30pm. I sms my good friend Jenny and asked if she could come over to accompany us.
I just couldn't take it any more. It happened so many times. Whenever I have time to stay back in school to complete work, something is bound to happen. WHY?!? I'm trying very hard to be more optimistic and keep an open mind or else I may just slip into depression.
She just turned and looked at me and asked, "Aren't you teaching today?" I replied, "It's the start of the school holidays and I just went for supplementary class today." 5 minutes later, she asked again, "Not teaching today?" This question went on for about 8 times every 5 - 10 minutes. Her next question was what day it was. She asked about 8 times every 10 - 15 minutes. Her retention of memory is not there. We don't know what's the actual cause of this loss of memory. Throughout the few hours when we were waiting to see the doctor in the A&E as well as wait for a bed space, she kept telling us that she could not remember what had happened last two days and didn't even remember going to bed the night before.
Mummy has always been reasonably active. She reads alot and even does crossword puzzles at home. Every now and then, she thinks of new recipes and tries them out to feed my dad and all of us when we go back for family gatherings. She goes out with friends for lunch, tea and shopping as well.
We were wondering whether the charity show screened the night before had any impact on her before she went to bed. Throughout the show, my dad said that she didn't cry out loud and they completed the whole show together. The next morning when she got up, my dad found her sitting and staring into space and when she went out to the living room and kitchen, she started asking my dad why there were sooo many biscuits, nuts around. She even asked him who bought them.
I was trying to keep my sanity. I was worried for my mum and didn't know how I can help her. On the other hand, I had to look after Allyson and take her back from school. By 7pm, I suddenly felt soo tired and very emotional. Allyson was rather active and refused to lie still while i was wiping her. It took me half hour to settle her. After feeding her porridge, I could not stop crying. Maybe it's the stress knowing that there's lots of work waiting for me in school, my mum's condition and moreover, I was alone at home. Jasper had to attend classes till 8.30pm. I sms my good friend Jenny and asked if she could come over to accompany us.
I just couldn't take it any more. It happened so many times. Whenever I have time to stay back in school to complete work, something is bound to happen. WHY?!? I'm trying very hard to be more optimistic and keep an open mind or else I may just slip into depression.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Month of May
May is a happy and stressful month. Very confusing isn't it? It is happy becos the following month is June and it will be vacation time for me hahahha. Stressfull cos it's the pupils' exams and there's lots to do and settle before we can really take a break. We really need that break.
These days, the feeling of changing my job is back again. This time, it's even stronger than the last time. There's been so much hype about private tutors and tuition centres and we see parents thanking the tutors and teachers in the tuition centres when their children did well in the exams. So what's the value of a teacher now? Seriously, in my own opinion, I feel that we have no more value. There's no respect from the public especially those parents. I was talking to a fellow colleague and she used the word 'degeneration'. You look at the way youngsters behave these days and even young kids' behaviour, it's seriously appalling.
Sometimes I wonder, did parents ever wonder why their kid could excel with tutors and teachers in the tuition centre? It's becos of the ratio for goodness sake. Their ratio is either 1:1 or maybe at most 1:20. Usually, tuition centres tend to have smaller groups. I wish I could have that in my classroom.
In an ordinary classroom in a school, we are facing on the average 37 - 40 pupils. These pupils are of mixed abilities. I have pupils scoring as high as 70 for maths and as low as below 10. We are also facing a class of students with different behaviours. Many times, we have to address intolerable behaviour in class immediately. We do not have any teacher assistants like what other countries have. We handle admin work, nannying job, teaching job, sometimes even a little counselling job. If there's only one school counsellor in a school serving 2000 pupils, I'm sure we can't send every child who needs a listening ear to the counsellor.
I was joking with a colleague that if any parent in my class were to pay me $3k a month teaching their child only, I seriously don't mind taking up and offer and really showing them results.
Just two weeks ago, I distributed the exam results to my pupils. Guess what?!? Those who failed badly could actually laugh it off and even exclaimed loudly 'hey! I failed!!'. Some critics may comment that it's a way for them to let off some steam as Singapore is a very stressful country always trying to climb up the ladder. Maybe they are just destressing themselves.
My question is this, where is the stress when very little effort has been put into daily work and revision.
As for the parents, just yesterday, I heard from a fellow colleague from another school that a parent actually wrote a very hurtful comment when he send out consent forms to have some of his pupils back next week just for about 2 hours over two days. The reason being these pupils are rather weak in maths and he was trying to revise past topics so as to prepare them for the new term. This is the hurtful comment (may not be in exact words) -- ' the lessons are not necessary if the teacher has been effective during the whole term'. When I heard that, I really flipped. I just felt like throwing a gunny sack over this parent's head and bashing him up. Yes, it's a father who wrote this comment. I guess it's probably a parent who thinks that his child is sooooooo smart that he doesn't need any extra lessons. What's wrong with this parent. You think we like to have extra lessons with your child so much?!?! Hey, it's our holidays. We can just not bother but becos of our professionalism. We have a responsibility towards each child's well being and results.
Really, all these years of teaching, the kids as well as their parents are getting from bad to worse. I wonder what kind of a society is my child living in and how she will turn out to be in the future.
I'm trying to get another job. away from all these nonsensical pupils and parents. It may be a 8am - 5pm office job but at least, I don't have to take back any stuff to mull over it. Everyday, I rush like crazy in school trying to meet datelines, plan work for pupils and thinking how to improve their results as well as plan for school events. When we get home, it's marking and more marking. For people like me with no maid, no parents or in laws staying with me and I have a child is really very trying. My race starts from 4.30am...the time that I start waking up and preparing for the day. Sometimes, I don't get any sleep in the afternoon at all as I'm slogging my guts out in school.
I was just telling Jasper last night that if I concentrate on my work, I will not have any time to spend with allyson. If I spend time with allyson, I neglect my work.
I think I've reached the point of hating my job. Was asking my peers in the corporate world if they have any jobs for me. A good friend asked me what do I want to do. I was stumped. I'm not sure if I've been in teaching for a while that I just lost that confidence to go into a corporate world. I didn't join teaching straight after my graduation. I worked as a temp in a few big organisations as well as a government agency. Though there was a lot to do but once it's time to leave the office, I leave everything behind. I did not need to take anything away with me to mull over it at home. That's what I want.
Teaching is no longer noble when we are being 'trampled' by these sickening people. I just feel like telling these parents out there to just take their children out for home schooling if they feel that teachers like us are not very effective in our teaching.
Let's hope that I would be able to get a decent job matching my present pay soon.....
ending on a happy note : I'm soooooooooo looking forward to my holidays!!!!! hahahahah :)))
These days, the feeling of changing my job is back again. This time, it's even stronger than the last time. There's been so much hype about private tutors and tuition centres and we see parents thanking the tutors and teachers in the tuition centres when their children did well in the exams. So what's the value of a teacher now? Seriously, in my own opinion, I feel that we have no more value. There's no respect from the public especially those parents. I was talking to a fellow colleague and she used the word 'degeneration'. You look at the way youngsters behave these days and even young kids' behaviour, it's seriously appalling.
Sometimes I wonder, did parents ever wonder why their kid could excel with tutors and teachers in the tuition centre? It's becos of the ratio for goodness sake. Their ratio is either 1:1 or maybe at most 1:20. Usually, tuition centres tend to have smaller groups. I wish I could have that in my classroom.
In an ordinary classroom in a school, we are facing on the average 37 - 40 pupils. These pupils are of mixed abilities. I have pupils scoring as high as 70 for maths and as low as below 10. We are also facing a class of students with different behaviours. Many times, we have to address intolerable behaviour in class immediately. We do not have any teacher assistants like what other countries have. We handle admin work, nannying job, teaching job, sometimes even a little counselling job. If there's only one school counsellor in a school serving 2000 pupils, I'm sure we can't send every child who needs a listening ear to the counsellor.
I was joking with a colleague that if any parent in my class were to pay me $3k a month teaching their child only, I seriously don't mind taking up and offer and really showing them results.
Just two weeks ago, I distributed the exam results to my pupils. Guess what?!? Those who failed badly could actually laugh it off and even exclaimed loudly 'hey! I failed!!'. Some critics may comment that it's a way for them to let off some steam as Singapore is a very stressful country always trying to climb up the ladder. Maybe they are just destressing themselves.
My question is this, where is the stress when very little effort has been put into daily work and revision.
As for the parents, just yesterday, I heard from a fellow colleague from another school that a parent actually wrote a very hurtful comment when he send out consent forms to have some of his pupils back next week just for about 2 hours over two days. The reason being these pupils are rather weak in maths and he was trying to revise past topics so as to prepare them for the new term. This is the hurtful comment (may not be in exact words) -- ' the lessons are not necessary if the teacher has been effective during the whole term'. When I heard that, I really flipped. I just felt like throwing a gunny sack over this parent's head and bashing him up. Yes, it's a father who wrote this comment. I guess it's probably a parent who thinks that his child is sooooooo smart that he doesn't need any extra lessons. What's wrong with this parent. You think we like to have extra lessons with your child so much?!?! Hey, it's our holidays. We can just not bother but becos of our professionalism. We have a responsibility towards each child's well being and results.
Really, all these years of teaching, the kids as well as their parents are getting from bad to worse. I wonder what kind of a society is my child living in and how she will turn out to be in the future.
I'm trying to get another job. away from all these nonsensical pupils and parents. It may be a 8am - 5pm office job but at least, I don't have to take back any stuff to mull over it. Everyday, I rush like crazy in school trying to meet datelines, plan work for pupils and thinking how to improve their results as well as plan for school events. When we get home, it's marking and more marking. For people like me with no maid, no parents or in laws staying with me and I have a child is really very trying. My race starts from 4.30am...the time that I start waking up and preparing for the day. Sometimes, I don't get any sleep in the afternoon at all as I'm slogging my guts out in school.
I was just telling Jasper last night that if I concentrate on my work, I will not have any time to spend with allyson. If I spend time with allyson, I neglect my work.
I think I've reached the point of hating my job. Was asking my peers in the corporate world if they have any jobs for me. A good friend asked me what do I want to do. I was stumped. I'm not sure if I've been in teaching for a while that I just lost that confidence to go into a corporate world. I didn't join teaching straight after my graduation. I worked as a temp in a few big organisations as well as a government agency. Though there was a lot to do but once it's time to leave the office, I leave everything behind. I did not need to take anything away with me to mull over it at home. That's what I want.
Teaching is no longer noble when we are being 'trampled' by these sickening people. I just feel like telling these parents out there to just take their children out for home schooling if they feel that teachers like us are not very effective in our teaching.
Let's hope that I would be able to get a decent job matching my present pay soon.....
ending on a happy note : I'm soooooooooo looking forward to my holidays!!!!! hahahahah :)))
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Interesting Month of April
Yay!! We finally found the cause of Allyson's cough. Poor little girl is allergic to dust and furry toys. After giving her the nasal spray, nasal drops, she's feeling much better now. At least she doesn't make soooo much noise when she sleeps at night.
She still gets the occasional cough and a bit of runny nose but it's alright. Well, we can't possibly keep the air in our home 100% dust free.
Doc recommended that we wash her and our bedsheets with hot water about 40 degree celsius. I'm seriously considering changing my washing maching to one which has temperature control.
Cos of this allergy, her guardian angels, giraffe and elmo has to be put away. We did receive some soft toys as gifts, I must find time to take them out and give them away to other kids. I'm just very happy that the prolonged cough and runny nose mystery had been solved.
It's her birthday in 2 days and we just had a mini celebration for her last Saturday. Invited some friends and relatives over to my in-laws' place. She was sooo excited that she slept rather late that night. Thanks to all friends and relatives who gave thoughtful gifts to bless my little girl. Both Jasper and I are just very happy to see our friends and relatives showering Allyson with their wishes. We bought her two helium filled balloons and my mum-in-law even made a big album of her photographs for all guests to take a look. Jasper and I also prepared birthday favours for our guests..just something small for them to take home - magnets with baby pic on it (not allyson's as we didn't have time to go specially make these magnets)
Apologies to guests who had to sit outside as most of the relatives were in the living room. I'm rather grateful that all friends whom I've invited have been rather accomodating. I've really not been a good host. A special thank you to my parents who popped by for a while.
The down side of this month was my sudden illness. Last Thursday night, I suddenly had chills. Very very bad chills. I was shivering so badly that it lasted for nearly 3 hours. After that, I started to sweat sooo much and my temperature shot up to 39 degree celsius. By Friday morning, my fever dropped to 38 degree celsius. I went to see my GP, took some medicine and I thought I was well. Come Saturday, I had high fever AGAIN!!! This time was also about 39 degree celsius. I went to my GP again and requested for a jab cos I really don't want to miss Allyson's birthday party that night. The jab was useful. Fever subsided almost immediately and I was well again for the whole day and night. By the time Sunday came, it was back to the fever again. This time, we went to CGH for blood test just in case I had dengue. Even my GP was not too sure thus he gave me a letter to go to A&E for blood test as the results will be known in an hour.
Blood test results showed that my platelets were slightly low and the MO at CGH was suspecting that I had early stage dengue but he was also puzzled that I had no rashes. Moreover, I had been taking the anti-biotics from my GP thus, the reduction of platelets could probably be due to the high fever the last two days. He told me to return for another blood test on Tuesday.
When my mum-in-law heard about it, she immediately called her sister and asked if there's anything I should take to increase the blood platelets. There is this soup which she stewed using small bittergourd and whole frog. It's like stewing in such a way that only the essence of the ingredients come out. I had two bowls. Not sure if it's really cos of the soup or maybe i'm just on the road to recovery, the platelets results was very good. my platelets increased from 208 - 265. I had no more fever too *yay* !! I was sooooo relieved that it was not dengue or else I really don't know what to do with Allyson and my work in school. It's really piling up!!!
When I was having high fever, lying on my bed, praying very hard that I would be able to get well soon, I just can't help feeling sooo afraid of leaving this world. I just read a friend's blog stating that she watched 'The Bucket List'. She came up with a bucket list (a list of what you would want to fulfil before you kick the bucket). My greatest worry is Allyson. She's still sooo young and she's only turning one this Friday. There's soooo much I want to do with her, sooo many places that I want to take her along with me. The thought of both of us going shopping for clothing, accessories etc seemed sooooo far away when I was having the high fever.
I shedded a few tears and prayed really hard that I would get well soon.
Gotten some inspiration from my friend, I shall come up with my own bucket list too, not in order of priority.
1) To see Allyson grow up healthily and develop well in all areas
2) To see Allyson get married
3) To have a few more siblings for Allyson and see all the siblings grow up healthily, develop well in all areas and get married
4) To visit Switzerland
5) To migrate to New Zealand / Canada
6) To go on a holiday with my parents
7) To open a small cafe
8) To stop work and just take care of the family, go shopping, take my kids everywhere
9) To drive a 7-seater / BMW / Lexus
10) To build and own a dream home, design the dream home and not worrying about budget
I guess, that's about all for my bucket list :)
Let's hope the month of May will bring good news and everything will just move smoothly.
She still gets the occasional cough and a bit of runny nose but it's alright. Well, we can't possibly keep the air in our home 100% dust free.
Doc recommended that we wash her and our bedsheets with hot water about 40 degree celsius. I'm seriously considering changing my washing maching to one which has temperature control.
Cos of this allergy, her guardian angels, giraffe and elmo has to be put away. We did receive some soft toys as gifts, I must find time to take them out and give them away to other kids. I'm just very happy that the prolonged cough and runny nose mystery had been solved.
It's her birthday in 2 days and we just had a mini celebration for her last Saturday. Invited some friends and relatives over to my in-laws' place. She was sooo excited that she slept rather late that night. Thanks to all friends and relatives who gave thoughtful gifts to bless my little girl. Both Jasper and I are just very happy to see our friends and relatives showering Allyson with their wishes. We bought her two helium filled balloons and my mum-in-law even made a big album of her photographs for all guests to take a look. Jasper and I also prepared birthday favours for our guests..just something small for them to take home - magnets with baby pic on it (not allyson's as we didn't have time to go specially make these magnets)
Apologies to guests who had to sit outside as most of the relatives were in the living room. I'm rather grateful that all friends whom I've invited have been rather accomodating. I've really not been a good host. A special thank you to my parents who popped by for a while.
The down side of this month was my sudden illness. Last Thursday night, I suddenly had chills. Very very bad chills. I was shivering so badly that it lasted for nearly 3 hours. After that, I started to sweat sooo much and my temperature shot up to 39 degree celsius. By Friday morning, my fever dropped to 38 degree celsius. I went to see my GP, took some medicine and I thought I was well. Come Saturday, I had high fever AGAIN!!! This time was also about 39 degree celsius. I went to my GP again and requested for a jab cos I really don't want to miss Allyson's birthday party that night. The jab was useful. Fever subsided almost immediately and I was well again for the whole day and night. By the time Sunday came, it was back to the fever again. This time, we went to CGH for blood test just in case I had dengue. Even my GP was not too sure thus he gave me a letter to go to A&E for blood test as the results will be known in an hour.
Blood test results showed that my platelets were slightly low and the MO at CGH was suspecting that I had early stage dengue but he was also puzzled that I had no rashes. Moreover, I had been taking the anti-biotics from my GP thus, the reduction of platelets could probably be due to the high fever the last two days. He told me to return for another blood test on Tuesday.
When my mum-in-law heard about it, she immediately called her sister and asked if there's anything I should take to increase the blood platelets. There is this soup which she stewed using small bittergourd and whole frog. It's like stewing in such a way that only the essence of the ingredients come out. I had two bowls. Not sure if it's really cos of the soup or maybe i'm just on the road to recovery, the platelets results was very good. my platelets increased from 208 - 265. I had no more fever too *yay* !! I was sooooo relieved that it was not dengue or else I really don't know what to do with Allyson and my work in school. It's really piling up!!!
When I was having high fever, lying on my bed, praying very hard that I would be able to get well soon, I just can't help feeling sooo afraid of leaving this world. I just read a friend's blog stating that she watched 'The Bucket List'. She came up with a bucket list (a list of what you would want to fulfil before you kick the bucket). My greatest worry is Allyson. She's still sooo young and she's only turning one this Friday. There's soooo much I want to do with her, sooo many places that I want to take her along with me. The thought of both of us going shopping for clothing, accessories etc seemed sooooo far away when I was having the high fever.
I shedded a few tears and prayed really hard that I would get well soon.
Gotten some inspiration from my friend, I shall come up with my own bucket list too, not in order of priority.
1) To see Allyson grow up healthily and develop well in all areas
2) To see Allyson get married
3) To have a few more siblings for Allyson and see all the siblings grow up healthily, develop well in all areas and get married
4) To visit Switzerland
5) To migrate to New Zealand / Canada
6) To go on a holiday with my parents
7) To open a small cafe
8) To stop work and just take care of the family, go shopping, take my kids everywhere
9) To drive a 7-seater / BMW / Lexus
10) To build and own a dream home, design the dream home and not worrying about budget
I guess, that's about all for my bucket list :)
Let's hope the month of May will bring good news and everything will just move smoothly.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
A New School Term
The new term is starting tomorrow and I'm down with a very sore throat and cough. My poor allyson is getting slimmer cos she has been coughing for the last few weeks. Whenever I see her cough, I have the impulse to quit my job the next day and just take care of her till she's 2 years old? hahahha I know it would only be possible in my dreams hahaha.
From tomorrow onwards, I would have datelines to meet for setting exam papers and loads of other things to do with my pupils. I'm going to start another remedial class just for English to help some of my pupils to do better in their exams. After all, I have a responsibility to get them to graduate from the primary school.
Hopefully, everything and everyone in my life will turn out great and fabulous from tomorrow onwards!!
From tomorrow onwards, I would have datelines to meet for setting exam papers and loads of other things to do with my pupils. I'm going to start another remedial class just for English to help some of my pupils to do better in their exams. After all, I have a responsibility to get them to graduate from the primary school.
Hopefully, everything and everyone in my life will turn out great and fabulous from tomorrow onwards!!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Dydy's back!!!
*Phew* I finally have some time to put in some entries to my blog heheheh. Didn't realise that I've not been putting in any entries this year. It has been a really hectic 3 months since school started. Everyday, I would be in a rush trying to complete my work in school and doing things as fast as I could at home so that I would have more time to spend with Allyson.
Allyson's coming to 11 months in 2 weeks and she's getting very active. What breaks my heart is her frequent runny nose/cough and occasionally fever. I know that part of the reason would be her low immunity and the other part would be her teething stage. Not much that we can do but both Jasper and I are trying our best to make her feel better by giving her teething sticks (very hard biscuits cooled in the fridge) and teething rings (cooled in the fridge in advance). Other times, we just allow her to put her fingers into her mouth as her molars are coming out soon.
Seeing her mucus coming out of her nose and hearing the phlegm that's in her throat when she coughs really breaks our hearts. Everyday, I pray so hard for her to be healthy and hopefully this is just a passing phase for her.
Just last week, I nearly collapsed due to tiredness I guess. I had symptoms of breathlessness and giddiness. Many times, I would just brush the symptoms off and just try to take things slower. I gave up last week and had to see a doc. When I was at the clinic, I suddenly felt very tired. I had a blank facial expression and many things just kept going through my mind. I was going to burst out screaming until a I saw a cute baby at the clinic. I was wondering if I was going to go berserk! Seeing the baby kind of jolted me out of my racing thoughts. I remembered that Jasper and Allyson were waiting for me at home and I should try to be optimistic and take things slower regardless of what I face in my daily life.
Just as I was trying to go slow since it's the March holidays, I had to go through a sharp pain at the side of my waist on Sunday. I was kind of woken up by the pain at 2.15am. Whichever position I tried to sleep was of no use. I don't know what happened. I woke Jasper up and he suggested I take a muscle relaxant tablet. It was useful and I fell asleep for a few hours. The pain was really unbearable. I quickly saw a doctor the next morning and he concluded that it was some infection and I was prescribed antibiotics. So far, the pain has not returned and I'm praying hard that I would be healthy soon.
There are three things which I am looking forward to - Allyson walking on her own two feet soon, our first holiday to australia in june with my in laws and of course we are taking Allyson along and a holiday in december with my parents and bro's family. Hopefully, these three things will push me through the rest of the year and provide some motivation for me to last till the end of the year.
Many have asked if I'm going to have a second child soon. I really don't know. I'm still kind of recovering mentally from the first abortion. Many times, when I read in magazines that so-and-so was pregnant again just after 3 months of giving birth to the first child and the 2nd child was born healthily. I can't help but shed a tear as I read. A good friend mentioned that I am a brave woman. Everytime I felt like crying, I would think of what my friend said and all the encouraging words that others have given me.
I would love to give allyson a younger sibling but I'm really not sure when that will be. I guess, I shall leave to the heavens to decide if I should be blessed with a second child.
Allyson's coming to 11 months in 2 weeks and she's getting very active. What breaks my heart is her frequent runny nose/cough and occasionally fever. I know that part of the reason would be her low immunity and the other part would be her teething stage. Not much that we can do but both Jasper and I are trying our best to make her feel better by giving her teething sticks (very hard biscuits cooled in the fridge) and teething rings (cooled in the fridge in advance). Other times, we just allow her to put her fingers into her mouth as her molars are coming out soon.
Seeing her mucus coming out of her nose and hearing the phlegm that's in her throat when she coughs really breaks our hearts. Everyday, I pray so hard for her to be healthy and hopefully this is just a passing phase for her.
Just last week, I nearly collapsed due to tiredness I guess. I had symptoms of breathlessness and giddiness. Many times, I would just brush the symptoms off and just try to take things slower. I gave up last week and had to see a doc. When I was at the clinic, I suddenly felt very tired. I had a blank facial expression and many things just kept going through my mind. I was going to burst out screaming until a I saw a cute baby at the clinic. I was wondering if I was going to go berserk! Seeing the baby kind of jolted me out of my racing thoughts. I remembered that Jasper and Allyson were waiting for me at home and I should try to be optimistic and take things slower regardless of what I face in my daily life.
Just as I was trying to go slow since it's the March holidays, I had to go through a sharp pain at the side of my waist on Sunday. I was kind of woken up by the pain at 2.15am. Whichever position I tried to sleep was of no use. I don't know what happened. I woke Jasper up and he suggested I take a muscle relaxant tablet. It was useful and I fell asleep for a few hours. The pain was really unbearable. I quickly saw a doctor the next morning and he concluded that it was some infection and I was prescribed antibiotics. So far, the pain has not returned and I'm praying hard that I would be healthy soon.
There are three things which I am looking forward to - Allyson walking on her own two feet soon, our first holiday to australia in june with my in laws and of course we are taking Allyson along and a holiday in december with my parents and bro's family. Hopefully, these three things will push me through the rest of the year and provide some motivation for me to last till the end of the year.
Many have asked if I'm going to have a second child soon. I really don't know. I'm still kind of recovering mentally from the first abortion. Many times, when I read in magazines that so-and-so was pregnant again just after 3 months of giving birth to the first child and the 2nd child was born healthily. I can't help but shed a tear as I read. A good friend mentioned that I am a brave woman. Everytime I felt like crying, I would think of what my friend said and all the encouraging words that others have given me.
I would love to give allyson a younger sibling but I'm really not sure when that will be. I guess, I shall leave to the heavens to decide if I should be blessed with a second child.
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