Taking things easy

I went back to school today and received much pats and support from colleagues. When I got back home, I read comments left by two good friends. Thank you to all who have given me the support and tried to perk me up. I will definitely live my life more fruitfully from now on.

I was sharing with Jasper during lunch that after I gave birth to Allyson, I've learnt to take things easier and not be too particular about the way I do things or the way others do things. I must say, after the abortion, I've learnt to take things even easier than the time after I gave birth. Somehow, it's heartening to know that I'm able to take things easy and not be too hard on myself. When I was younger, I tend to expect too much from myself as well as from others. After marriage and later on becoming a mother has totally changed my view on many things.

I remember one day when I was waiting for Jasper to unload some boxes to my mother's new house, a malay family was going out too. They were driving a 7-seater. Actually it was alright for them to turn out but somehow I guess they were worried that they may scratch their car. I got out of the car and told the wife to give us just 5 minutes and my hubby will be down soon. I was smiling and even apologised to them. Instead of appreciating, this malay lady just shot be a very impatient look and started showing some hand signals. I was totally hurt. I was just asking for a few minutes and even apologised for the inconvenience. In the end, this is how I was being treated. At that time, it dawned on me that the sentence 'it does not pay to be kind' seems very apt. I was very angry at that time. I guess, I may not be that angry now if the same thing happens again.

When I got to know of my unborn child's condition, I actually had thoughts like 'have I done anything wrong that caused my child to have some a condition', 'maybe I had offended people', 'maybe I should be more forgiving towards others who treat me badly'.... there were so many 'maybes' in my head. In this world, does it mean that if I do good, good things will befall me?? I really don't know. Whether life is fair or not, I don't know either.

All I know is for the sake of Allyson, I believe I should do more good deeds and be more patient as well as take things easier so that Allyson will have a good life.